One relation and another

Human relationships easily become possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. ... It is very hard for love not to become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving includes the art of giving one another space. Henri Nouwen Bread for the Journey

One relation offers much hope and yet another can cause so much pain and perhaps Nouwen's insight is very deep for me because when I do seek to offer some of God's love to others there are risks. The last few weeks have been a combination of being very heavy and feeling unable to move and also being carried by her. We need people who can offer and be with us in moments of sorrow. The danger has been that I'd forgotten or not realized this truth of the other wanting to possess. But now things have changed and must also change deeper down.