Health and Dust

Day 9 of my back trouble saga. My back is getting better with no sharp pains but a ban against riding the bike and lifting heavy weights. Both I had to do for the the BBQ on Saturday, (don't tell my chiropractor). We had far more people than we first expected or planned for and had to sort out extra food. But on the day, donations made the food even greater than we needed.

I still have the dull ache in my legs but the vertigo seems less again. Somehow adversity and troubles has brought something good. With the clear up, yesterday I could have a small birthday dinner at my place which is the first in two years! It felt so good having people around the table eating.

Strangely last night, a little almond nut turned up on the floor of the kitchen. It was almost a repetition of Totoro again. This whole episode in my life can only be described as an experience of the sacred or holy. New freedom and deepening relationships as each little event contributes to the next. For example, last night Iris and Naomi were delayed for dinner, so Dickie decided to lift and remove the old stair carpet. A dust trap and also liability as it is quite frayed etc. Today as I write and reflect I am increasingly aware that perhaps my ill-health over the last few years is also related to bad air quality and dust! Of course physical, emotional and spiritual health are interlinked and this journey is headed in a good direction.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Roman 8:28

What is this?

Welcome to Hatsune Miku. She isn't an anime character, nor is she a real singer. She is a Vocaloid voice created to run in a computer. However she sings in tune, in the right places. She's not a recording as such. She even sings with a Japanese English accent! Is this art? Does it have any claim for a place or is it simply a distraction as entertainment.

Evil, suffering, and sin

Human beings are so made that the ones who do the crushing feel nothing; it is the person crushed who feels what is happening. Unless one has placed oneself on the side of the oppressed, to feel with them, one cannot understand. Simone Weil

I remember in this moment the Japanese anime "Graveyard of the Fireflies" which is a powerful and painful study of two children at the close of WWII. Such is the power of the story line that I have not plucked up courage to watch a live action version. War is evil and the question is whether it is ever a necessary evil. A tension is whether countries can usurp another's sovereignty to instigate justice? National leaders have a responsibility for the care of their citizens, I'd like to think that but somehow I'm not sure in practice that is true.

Over the years I've had Machiavelli's The Prince on the must read list but as yet haven't got to it. I understand that The Prince is really a guidebook on seizing and preserving power. It focuses on a new prince who has a much more difficult task than a hereditary prince. Machiavelli sees that the new prince must cement his newfound authority in power structures that endure. To do this the Prince though publicly above reproach privately does anything necessary to maintain power. I notice that significantly Tanonoka Whande The Zimbawe Times writes of Mugabe,

“The President and First Secretary of Zanu-PF and President of the Republic of Zimbabwe” ordered that international organizations that were operating in his country, helping him to take care of his citizens, be stopped from distributing food to the starving citizens. He would not allow someone else feed the people he is supposed to be feeding unless those people sold their vote to him for food that is not even his.

Evil is considered a broad term used to indicate a negative moral or ethical judgment; it is often used to describe intentional acts that are cruel, unjust, or selfish. Evil is usually contrasted with good, which describes intentional acts that are kind, just, or unselfish. Accepting this definition and having considered all that we discussed above, can we justly deny Mugabe the description or title of “evil”? He has worked so hard for it and continues to do so.

It was Voltaire who said that as long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities. Zimbabweans, don’t believe in absurdities; we are in distress and we duly give Mugabe the title. He deserves it. His malice has gone too far."

Seemingly Mugabe has gone beyond even Machiavelli in having the ends justify the means. But are we really that different from Mugabe?

Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' Matthew 25:41-43

A New Year

Its 2008 and the calendar has rolled over.

I've been watching an anime series called Mushshi 蟲師. The story features primordial creatures called Mushi that interact with the physical world but with supra-natural powers or influence. They are described as creatures so basic as to be in touch with the essence of life. Most human beings are unable to see the Mushi and dont' know they exist. But there are a few who possess the ability to see and interact with theme. One person is Ginko (ギンコ?), the main character of the series. He employs himself as a Mushi master (蟲師 mushi-shi), travelling from place to place to study them and help people with problems because of them. Ginko is distinct because he has only one eye working and it is green and his hair is absoutely white because of his encounters with the Mushi. (more info here)

I am interested by this series because there is a dimension of life that extends beyond what we can see. There is also very much a message of living in the moment and responding with wisdom in a situation. There are ethical situations and dilemmas exposed. Like Kino's Journey, it is very episodic and is very much a thinking person's anime. It is very embedded in the travel motif and the art work is very mysterious or mystical. The Mushi always affect intially one person and impinge on their reality BUT this spreads ultimately through the community.

At the moment I've been doing a lot of thinking about the source of life, given that I've found the need for solitude recently and I've been reading about evangelism from the introvert's perspective, I'm coming round to wonder how important or core the social aspect of life is to spiritual growth. It seems everything resolved down to the intrinsic I-Eternal Thou relationship that Martin Buber proposes. Or as CS Lewis put is " I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

Is this merely an issue of introverts vs extroverts? Or is it fundamentally that the personal-divine relationship should define all other relationships? I am beginning to believe that while being an extrovert or introvert can make a difference, fundamentally we start with the interior life and our individual relationship with God. As I've already posted about this Music is an art and spirituality is also an art rather than an science. There are some technical skills to be learnt but it is more about commitment to the relationship.

all about cello

The copyright for this belongs to Chow Tze Chun though choweggtart is his or her internet identity. It's widely available on the internet and eventually when I figure how to embed youtube and google video I'll do that.

How much is learning always in a communal context against a personal individual thing? All about cello needs an audience, the animator created is for a class assignment as far as I can see but it needed a greater audience. Even this blog is meaningless without readers, the same with books and any form of media.

I think published sheet music is different because the musician seems to have a different role. (I suspect poetry to be similar.) The musician is far less passive. In the pre-recorded music era many homes depended on family members being able to sing or play a musical instrument. You can note a level of proficiency just by looking at the vocal scale of the Victorian era against that of 21st century pop music. A level of proficiency was aspired to because of the communal context and engagement.

Nodame Cantabile (see my labels list) has many messages for me probably first and foremost is to be serious and to engage with music on its own terms (including the composer's style etc) but secondly is to understand how to catch. enchant or draw the audience into your world. Even then sometimes the audience isn't willing to listen or ready to listen. We all need to speak and be heard but it's not a matter of shouting. How come we rarely hear God? How come we rarely hear each other?

The Aged Cello

I found this little animated sequence to music by Arvo Part called The Aged Cello, you can play it here on this page below or (you can download it here). The music is melancholic befitting the instrument. However there's a strangeness I find in the title and theme which is Should aging be sad? The cello as an instrument itself has a melancholic tonal quality but valuable cellos are old and in fact age is valued in them for the better seasoned wood and sonority. This seems to reveal a Western cultural value or attitude. It also reminds me of issues I've raised in discussions about mentoring with the twenty somethings for over a year now. At core they are issues of relying on peer mentoring for significant spiritual growth rather than seeking for older and deeper experience. I have been reading for a course on critical thinking and one item struck me, intellectual humility. This trait I think is also an indicator of growth, knowing what you don't know, whether it be in academia, spiritual faith development or other aspects of our lives. This is humility, a true self-awareness when we measure ourselves either the corpus of human knowledge or even more so against the greatness of God, we discover the need for more wisdom.

A matter of style

from http://tijil.org/gallery/d/214-1/cellist.jpg

For a moment What a surprising incongruous image! and I love this from Tomas' collection. I don't know whether he drew it or got it from some where else. The drawing style is of course Asian manga/anime but the instrument very Western and high art and the girl is drawn very street style.

In a life on another continent I was a bureaucrat and strangely I often went to work in a green army jacket and jeans. On it I wore a patch which said Don't follow me, I'm lost too! If you know me already, you would know that there a contrariness in me. If you asked me a question presenting a black and white situation, I will often bring in the grays. One of my close friends told me that if he wanted to explore the options he would come to me but if he wanted to make a decision then he wasn't sure.

The Greeks had a wider vocabulary for many concepts and love is probably the most well-known because of CS Lewis who listed storge, phileo, eros, and agape . For wisdom Aristotle presented two intellectual virtues: sophia and phronesis. Sophia is what we usually translate as "wisdom". Thus philosophy is love of wisdom. Sophia is the ability to think well or critically, and is used in our study of the world and the way it is; sophia involves deliberation concerning universal laws and truths. Phronesis is sort of more pragmatic and a way of being in the world. It is the ability to think about how and why we should act in order to change things, and especially to change our lives for the better. I have heard common sense and prudence as words used to translate phronesis. Aristotle said that phronesis isn't simply a skill, in fact it involves the abilities to both to decide how to achieve a certain end, and to reflect upon and determine that end. (This latter point is under dispute because I think it brings Aristotle much closer to Plato.) Phronesis requires time and thus is not truly common sense.

I think juxtapositions which set things or ideas in opposition are often unhelpful. However incongruities can bring the norms and values of the world to sight. The wisdom of phronesis is not based on conformity. Human existence is hugely ambiguous and even the Christian faith is based more on phronesis than sophia because it is based on a transcendent relationship lived out in concrete realty.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Dreams, cyberspace and reality

Paprika (パプリカ, Papurika) is a Japanese full length anime based on Yasutaka Tsutsui's novel, about a research psychologist involved in developing a device that will permit therapists to help patients by entering their dreams. However somehow the world of dreams and physical reality becomes blurred and a bizarre parade of symbols, which we might attribute to the Japanese collective unconsciousness, takes over. What happens is that people are drawn into and immersed in this parade. The device was created for good ends, in fact healing, but the human condition creates problems. This anime is not for the faint hearted the imagery is strong and effective, and it exposes fundamental human urges.

Joseph and Daniel were important ancient figures who took note of dreams, and Peter and Paul were early church figures who found importance in recognizing the divine presence in them. They are important but care is needed in their interpretation and discernment in the origin or source of the dream. Over the years, I have had very few dreams that I could remember on waking up. But since starting journaling the number has increased and I have kept a record of the dreams, and sought to understand them and their purpose and perhaps message. I believe dreaming is a sort of visual journalling and can contribute to the knowledge of self and therefore knowledge of God.

Recent scientific work has studied the ability of humans to project themselves into cyber identities whether in games or facebook, chat rooms or forums or even blogs. My fragments are consolidated here in this blog but I am not here. It is important to not live in our dreams, nor cyberspace. I would like to think that reality is where God is with us. An old confession was that God is the creator and sustainer of all things. It has been years since I heard the second spoken or discussed yet if God as sustainer defines what is real then all of life is lived in the presence of God. If we define what is real then perhaps Paprika's nightmare is closer than we imagine.

Correcting corrupted images

A key moment in my formation was the realisation that an understanding of God as father is frequently shaped by childhood. My divine image was marred by earthly experience. Henri Nouwen's book The Return of the Prodigal brought my own personal exploration and study of Rembrant's painting. The father has one hand of strength and power strongly holding and other of gentleness almost consoling.

Furthermore one of my personal struggles is that sincerity is not enough, and proficiency is required. Recently Nodame Cantibile which exists as a Japanese manga, anime, and live drama has opened me to myself, bringing old experiences of making music and loving music for music's sake. I find myself in so much of it. Set in a music college it says much not just about music but it begins with music and moves off into life. Music is a metaphor for life and living. It raises old questions about conflicting loves and what is a deeper love, it asks questions such as what is important whether to play music as I like it rather than first taking music seriously for music's sake in order to bring pleasure and joy. It brings to the front the links between technique and inspiration. The Nodame story is more than a romantic love story but also one where the love of music is a key and this is paralleled in a love of life and love in life. Even then the childhood experiences hamper and limit development and opportunity until dealt with. In my experience of parents it was a father who pushed and demanded and a mother who persuaded and consoled. Yet God as divine parent is both. Nodame Cantabile reminded me of the importance of striving for technique is as important as the ability to sing i.e. the expression of the soul of music. All art has its techne and psyche sides. (technical and soul) The spiritual disciplines present one side and movements of the spirit the other.

Sometimes we need the power of God and other times we need the shelter of the wings of God. We need a transcendent relationship if we are to live in this world, but we also need to love the experiences or at least find the experiences of the love of God here in the world. We need to take life seriously (the father's left hand) to enjoy life (the father's right hand) , otherwise we're stuck in hedonism or stoicism.

Openness and the will to change

I have some music at tapegerm.com and sound loops at freesound which I recorded off the subway and made available.Now I discovered that the samples have been inserted in a game! The game is Tremulous and my sample loops are part of the Paris Metro and an underground world. You never know where and what will happen.

A call from a student earlier tonight reminded me I can never predict what will happen for me or someone else. Life is unpredictable. There are no guarantees, no sure fire solutions. I can never solve others' problems let alone my own. But there is more to life than solving problems, there is the companionship of others and the experiences that can challenge and grow us.

Gorsch the cellist (or gauche or goshu) is a great little story by Kenji Miyazaki made into an Japanese anime by Isao Takahata who later founded Studio Ghibli. The story tells of a young cellist who while diligent is limited. The conductor and the rest of the orchestra are frustrated by his seeming lack of ability to play well. Over the course of 4 nights, local animals come to visit Gorsch in his little shack and their visits change change him, bringing out musicianship from deep inside of Gorsch.

Being open is essential to being transformed or being made new. In the Christian tradition there are two different understandings of what grace does. Grace can be imputed bringing about something transformative and alternatively grace can bring about something new. Both can be helpful when facing the uncertainties of life, that God might bring about something new or simply transform something already there.

Three ways of sabbath-ing

I think that sabbath is best thought of in three ways. As I reflect in preparation for a workshop the following three aspects provide shape and understanding.

1. The keeping of sabbath as a day of rest. Bonnie Thurston asserts "One of the marks of divinity is that God knows when to stop working, when to rest, when to enjoy what has been created by work..."
2. The doing of sabbath as a practice, is as Norman Wirzba suggests "the focus and culmination of a life that is daily and practically devoted to honoring God, the source of all our delight..."
3. The being of sabbath is even more core. Marva Dawn suggest Sabbath is a corrective. "The only way to stop our chronic need to work in our own way and with our sense of hurry is to stop, to cease, to spend time immersed in God's enfolding devotion to us and in the triune provision of whatever we need in order to do the work God really wants us to do in God's manner and cadence."

I think the being of sabbath is the key or cure to a very human condition. What Marva Dawn points to is a fundamental shift from self-sufficiency and "I" centreness to a focusing on God. Bonnie Thurston is beautifully blunt ... "beneath the complaint that we are too busy, that we don't have enough time, is the pride of attainment. I'm so busy may well be a way of saying see how needed I am, see how important I am".

Bernard of Clairvaux, a signficant medieval writer on the spiritual life, basically was frustrated with conduit thinking. He saw people loving and serving God and others as channels, which is living life in a narrow way, where love pours out as fast as it rushes in. This is not life in all its fullness or abundant life. He suggested that love and service needs a reservoir and outpouring is out of fullness and surplus. "We have all too few such reservoirs in the church at present, than we have canals in plenty." Notice that a reservoir life is more focused on primarily receiving from God in order to overflow over others, but people frequently merely have a survival giving from the limited resources of a stand pipe or conduit.

It's still a challenge as I face down these conclusions! (see Kino's Journey episode 10 notes for issues of identity in what you do and others needs - the picture is Haji from Blood+ , a vampire anime, which is particularly appropriate for lives lived in the absence of sabbath )

Kino's Journey - closing thoughts and questions

Released in April 2003, this haunting animated series is based on a light novel by Keiichi Shigusawa. (It is rated PG because of some of its challenging content and some of the violence though not gratuitous. None of those scenes will be shown this weekend!)

At the conference we are using the dubbed English soundtrack however I feel the Japanese voice track with it’s own English translation in the subtitles is much stronger and sets a better tone, especially the voices chosen seem to fit better.

Kino’s Journey’s strength is its ability to present multiple points of view (POV). One of the psychological measures of spiritual growth is being able to see from alternative perspectives. Kino’s Journey offers good training.

• The person who has lived / is living the situation (alternatively, it may provide more than one person's take on the situation). This POV presents an insider's view to the story. It usually illustrates the thoughts and emotions that the person experiences and what leads to a certain decision / final understanding.
• Kino's POV presents the outsider's POV. Kino's views are those without attachment (a traveler just passing through). Kino usually provides a POV that’s different if not contrary to the person who has lived through / experienced the situation.
• Hermes POV usually represents the questions or doubts that come to the mind of the viewer during a discussion / debate between Kino and the "natives of the land". Hermes presents a pessimistic if not fatalistic POV, usually jumping directly to the worst case scenario.( here credit for this observation goes to http://eltonpinto.blogspot.com/search/label/Anime)

A few questions arising specifically for a congregation or church

Episode 1 The Land of Visible Pain
What does koinonia/fellowship or Christian community look like? Is it possible to bear one another’s burdens and share each other’s pains?

Episode 10 A Tale of Mechanical Dolls
How do the roles and ministries in a church fit with calling for members in the communal life and ministry of a church? Does a need or a perceived lack constitute a calling to ministry? What are the differences between spiritual and natural talents?
How do we know if we should be doing this?

Episode 13 A Kind Land
In the context of 3 John, Demetrius and Diotrephes present contrasts almost as stark as Sakura who stays and Kino who leaves. What are the strengths and weaknesses to have a corporate traveler mentality for a congregation?
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Kino's Journey episode 13

Some more reflection questions, now episode 13 –

What is reputation all about? How different is it to gossip?
Time and history are important factors in this land. Why?

Endurance and perseverance and hope belong together, because they are all about time and being in time. But what are the really important things in life for you?

Destination is a state of mind.

Dorothy L Sayers write “It is precisely because of the eternity outside time that everything in time becomes valuable and important and meaningful. Therefore, Christianity … makes it of urgent importance that everything we do here should be rightly related to what we eternally are. “Eternal life” is the sole sanction for the values of this life.”

When you read Matt 25:31-46, in the light of what Sayer’s says, what actually is the difference between the sheep and goats? Examine what they say? And compare how Jesus reacts.

What are the implications for how you live both personally, as a family , as a church?

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Kino's Journey episode 10

Some more reflection questions -

How does the old lady/nanny fit in this country, what is her role?
What is her role in this world? How do we determine roles?

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel proposed two primeval self-consciousnesses the master and the slave, which in relationship initially demand recognition from the other, and later dependency on them, for their identity.

How do we determine who is master and who is slave/servant in this episode? How do we determine this in our world?

Being able to see the country at the bottom of lake requires a willingness to travel and to be shown and the requirement of the right light source.

Often our Bible translations translate doulos which means literally slave, with servant as if to cushion the blow about what it means to follow Christ. However you cannot do this in Mark 10: 35-45 where Jesus makes a radical statement about the difference. How comfortable are you with this.

Where is your meaning? In what you do or could do? Where is your identity founded? How do you describe yourself to others?

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Kino's Journey episode 1

Some reflection questions after watching the episode-

In the desert, the temptation is to go back. Why?
What is the tension between decisiveness and what I shall call providence (though Kino calls it luck)? How do you live this out?

What is your purpose or calling in life? How would you go about finding this out?
Who determines it?

In the city and the outskirts

Where are we and what is the problem?
Why does the man want Kino to stay?

Jean Paul Sartre said “Hell is another person” Can other people really be hell?
Is this land hospitable, as Hermes and Kino wonder? Does hospitality require people?

Trust and Truth belong together. In contrast to the Land of Pain read Psalm 85 and examine what responses rise in you.

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opening notes on Kino's Journey

These post follow from a recent summer conference where I taught 3 John and I wrote notes and study materials. We have to say thanks to ADV films who gave permission to show part of the anime series.

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Kino’s Journey キノの旅 – The Anime and the “Why”

Destination is a state of mind.

Travelers not only find themselves in a variety of countries and landscapes, but we can see both their own and the new country’s values and traditions. Kino is such a traveler. The world of Kino and Hermes, a talking motorrad or motorcycle, is full of strange locales, each with its own traditions, values and cultures.

Kino's particular rule is to never stay more than three days in a country before moving on. That amount of time is just enough to get a real feel for a country, plus if you stay longer that's time not spent in another place. Each country has its own set of rules and laws, but there are some basic ones that apply to Travelers.

Kino’s Journey is a thinking person’s anime, and follows in the great tradition of tackling worldly philosophies that many great thinkers have been trying to sort out. Similarities can be found with Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift and The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and, Che Guevara’s autobiography The Motorcycle Diaries is considered an influence.

The traveler is actually an old motif for the Christian life and a counter against the world in which we live. Our worlds are full of values and traditions, which distract and remove us from the reality of a God-given world and a life lived in partnership, in co-existence with God. The traveler motif is a pilgrim motif and was written into God’s warning to the Israelites and is embedded in Scripture. Deuteronomy is peppered with a call to remember Egypt and the desert time. Deut 8 “For the Lord is bringing you into a good land … when you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God … otherwise when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down … your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God.” Paul said “Since you have been raised with Christ set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Col 3 1-2) Jesus instructed “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth … but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven … for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matt 6:19-21)

Where are your treasures? Where is your heart? How can you find out?

We are mired in our own worldview, literally stuck and it takes at minimum cross-cultural missions trips, getting out of our comfort zones, and an authentic desire to discover our blindness as God removes the scales from our eyes. Only in traveling either literally, metaphorically or simply with our minds, hearts, and souls can we discover whether we are worshiping the gods of the new land (see Deut 6:14) or God Almighty.

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