Persuading or inviting

Before Christmas I went on some training about invitation and recently revisited a book on encouragement. These have forced some thoughts on persuasion and methods.

Dr Robert Cialdini is a scholar in persuasion and marketing. In his work he lists six “weapons of influence”:

• Reciprocation - People tend to want to return a favor.
• Commitment and Consistency - If people make a commitment to something, verbally or in writing, they tend to keep it.
• Social Proof - People will do things when they see other people doing it.
• Authority - Even with uncomfortable action, people will tend to obey authority figures.
• Liking - People are easily persuaded by other people that they like.
• Scarcity - A perceived scarcity will generate demand for something.

Something I found in Neuro-linguistic Programing, which has very similar ends to influence people, was rapport. There seem to be key ways to establish rapport such as mirroring the body position and language of the other person. Similarly this is also done in the verbal language. In matching the other person's model of the world/worldview, and in conversation matching the scale of information being exchanged. if the other person works with large categories or large chunks of information then working on that scale will establish rapport and therefore influence. If the person works on the detailed level or micro chunks, then conversing on the large chunk level will necessarily fail. However get on the right level and rapport being established influence is possible.

The trouble is where does manipulation and brainwashing start and the sharing of a great idea or belief? So when is it inviting, influencing, persuading, or brain washing? Not easy... That's why we need ethics.