Lullabye For A Stormy Night

well now I am grown, and these years have shown that rain's a part of how life goes, but it's dark and it's late so I'll hold you and wait 'til your frightened eyes do close, and I hope that you'll know... that nature is so the same rain, that draws you near me falls on rivers and land, on forests and sand, makes the beautiful world that you'll see in the morning ... everything's fine in the morning the rain'll be gone in the morning but I'll still be here in the morning - Vienna Teng Lullabye For A Stormy Night

(My ears are still full of Vienna Teng a good voice and very thoughtful lyrics hear this song here NB Vienna Teng wrote this song when she was 17! - If you're interested you can find downloadable live recordings at the internet archive here)

Years ago, I was extremely interested in a young woman but we were on different continents. We were far apart. At this time I came across this picture in a book published in 1919 together with the translation of a Chinese poem from the 6th century: The Ferry written by the Emperor. Both touched me deeply

Of marsh-mallows my boat is made,
The ropes are lily-roots.
The pole-star is athwart the sky:
The moon sinks low.
It's at the ferry I'm plucking lilies,
But it might be the yellow River-
So afraid you seem of the wind and the waves,
So long you tarry at the crossing

I don't think she ever understood the poem and picture when I shared it. Somehow the possibility failed, making the physical crossing happened but there was no willingness to cross over other divides. But looking back I would not be where I am now, doing what I do now, unless that failure happened. But I'll still look back when I hear songs like this.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11

backlash and response

Emergent church, Deep church, Neo-orthodoxy, premodern, modern, postmodern spirituality. Nothing appears out of nothingness, ex nihilo, frequently what we have is merely a response. I've been trying not to post twice in one day but I read some stuff tonight that I feel I just got to post.

I learnt that German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel suggested in the history of human progress there were three dialectical stages of development: a thesis, which gave rise to its reaction, an antithesis which sought to contradict or disprove the thesis, and the tension between the two is generally resolved by means of a synthesis. However I seem to find evidence which says Hegel did not use these terms other than once. The idea is still useful. Much of the history of church life and practice seems to be wild swings of the pendulum rather than living with paradoxes or uneasy hybrids.

Jared at gospeldrivenchurch seems to be a prolific reader and reviewer. His recent review of Organic Community is well worth a read if only because I find myself agreeing with many of his issues. he writes:

[Joseph] Myers writes about cultivating community in and out of an existing environment rather than establishing a master plan and expecting an automatic falling in line. Echoing a growing cultural disenchantment with the small group cure-all, ... Essentially Myers is calling for flexibility, improvisation, nurturing people as people and responding to them, rather than approaching them as numbers or ideas and trying to plug them like tabs into a small group slot. It's like envisioning the cultivation of community like it's jazz music, not a line dance polka.

But Jared critiques the very things (read here) that I also find issues with in many schemes. Its dependency upon the same still cultural values of leadership gurus and pop-psychology. The foreword is significantly written by Willow Creek teaching pastor Randy Frazee. In contrast an emergent church antithesis variant comes in Solomon's Porch which Jared provides links to here. Watch the video and also watch your own response to it. It sort of fitted my goth thinking until I realized something was missing.

I'm wondering if we shouldn't be really counter-cultural and wonder what God would have us do or better be. Not by doing the WWJD (What would Jesus Do) thing, but rather fasting and praying about it and asking God directly, expecting an answer. Now isn't that radical, perhaps even goth?

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:9-10

Percussion cello

This is a mighty odd cello type instrument. You can see the violin playing Hungarian fiddle style, accompanied by the gardon, a log trough carved out in the rough shape of a cello and used as a percussion instrument youtube here.

You would think something carved out of a log would be deep and producing a thud. But it's sonorous and resonant instead. It provides a solid full sound underpinning the fiddle being played for dancing. This thought has an application in a lived spirituality. After listening to Sally Morgenthaler Friday, Mike Bechtle, who I've been reading, make even more sense today.

... no matter what personality type. If our lives are genuinely being transformed through Christ's power, others will notice ... they'll watch our reactions to the tough situations we face and will see how we handle the positive situations as well. If what we say is different from what they observe, they'll always believe what they observe. ... Being a Biblical witness involves exactly that-- being. [i.e. being spiritually transformed].

At the moment I continue to wish that transformation were faster in my life. That my struggles were less, but at least I'm still struggling which proves that I'm still alive. I haven't quit wanting to live. I used to say a lot last year that it is easier to change the direction of a rolling rock when it is moving than to get it started. Movement is the indicator that we want life or that there is a chance for life.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:17-18

Tame faith

Why do people in church seem like cheerful, brainless tourists on a packaged tour of the Absolute? … Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, mixing up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies’ straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews. For the sleeping god may wake someday and take offense, or the waking god may draw us to where we can never return. - Annie Dillard, in Teaching a Stone to Talk: Expeditions and Encounters

I came across this quote in the Faith and Theology blog and it reminded me about JB Phillips' book Your God is too Small. It also brought resonance from critiques I've hear calling for an end to the domestication of God. I am currently reading an old book called The Search for Transcendence. Its subtitle is A Theological Analysis of Nontheological Attempts to Define Transcendence. The subtitle precisely describes the book which investigates many different figures from psychology RD Laing and Carl Jung, and two Marxist thinkers Herbert Marcuse and Ernst Bloch.

I got to reading about Ernst Bloch yesterday. He was a self-proclaimed Marxist atheist but was neither a conventional Marxist nor a normal atheist. A notable quotation of his is "Only an atheist can be a good Christian." His purpose was to tear down all human illusions and false confidences about God, emphasizing an absoluteness of God as Wholly other. In fact within his understanding it is not humans that build the kingdom but God himself and on his own terms. Furthermore it seems he claimed that "the authentic biblical witness is to revolutionary and utopian world view and that the Church is the perverter of Jesus as the original revolutionary." (99) For Bloch transcendence is to rise beyond the domestication of God to have a vision of the not-yet, of ultimate redemption. It is a rebellion against a domestication, or taming of God, a revolution founded in hope for a future.

I have heard much talk about cheap grace for years now and seen little revolution in lives. I have been stuck here for quite a few years also until I realized how little control I have over my life. But the consequences are not that bad if I give control and orientation over to God. It is not passivity but trust it is a quiet revolution of peace/shalom. The young woman playing the cello is a goth. There are many aspects of goth culture which are less than attractive, the occultic and horror strands. But I've know Christian Goths that have attracted me because they aren't tame and restricted.

A goth website describes themselves that "most goths become goths because they have been spurned by 'normal' society because the way they want to live their lives does not fit in with how most people are told to live theirs. Goths are free thinkers, ... Rather goths tend to listen to what you have to say, and make up their own mind. This kind of free thinking and rejection of dogma earns only rejection in todays society." But i think we need a lot less of the shirt and tie, the house with the white picket fence (one of my mentorees speaks of), and a lot more of wisdom calling in the market place. Less conventional and less normality. The only conformity we really ought to have is to the Christ of the market place hanging out with those on the street. (me included!)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Rom12:2

platitudes, concision, and mission statements

According to Wikipedia, a platitude is a trite, meaningless, or prosaic statement that is presented as if it were significant and original. Life is full of this and particularly politics and religions are probably the worst for these sort of things.

I've been introduced to Noam Chomsky's concept of concision. This is the idea of a statement that is so concise as to be able to be fitted between two adverts. The nature of the statement is that it has to become so concise that no supporting evidence can be given and therefore it has to be universally accepted. Effectively it becomes a platitude and meaningless.



As I was listening to Chomsky in this youtube extract, I became aware of why I don't like mission statements! I've sat through far too many hours of organizations trying to refine their mission statement often because they are looking for a new way or path or to fund raise. Mission statements seem to accept Chomsky's critical analysis contained in concision. It is effectively impossible to say something new or radical and acceptable in a mission statement. In fact it is virtually impossible to say anything prophetic in an organizational mission statement. Perhaps missions statements basically reduce themselves to platitudes, because everyone can accept them but they lack anything life challenging or changing.

Loneliness vs Solitude

From the outside, solitude and loneliness look almost the same. Both are characterized by solitariness. But similarity ends on the surface.

Loneliness is a state which is negative, associated with a sense of isolation. You feel that something is missing. It is frequently possible to be with people and still feel alone which is a bitter deep form of loneliness.

Solitude is a state of being alone and not feeling lonely. It is a good and positive codition where you are engaged with yourself. Solitude is desirable and healthy in the spiritual life. It is a time for knowledge of self and of God.

Solitude restores body, mind and spirit while loneliness depletes them.

The cultural messages of being married or in relationship, or having children create loneliness. Advertisers play on this using clothing, food, drink, even scent and aftershave as vehicles to conquer loneliness. The power of the media is strong enough to generate the needs and desires that are required to provide the motivation to buy and acquire. But still there is something missing

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Gen 2:18

Peace - the right word

I have some linguistic issues around this time of year and they are around the word peace. Peace on earth and goodwill towards all people.

What does Peace really mean? The Hebrew word Shalom (שָׁלוֹם) means peace, hello, goodbye and also to a state of wellbeing. In English, peace is a lack of strife between two parties particularly between humans and also with God. It is much less used to refer to the well-being, welfare or safety of an individual or a group of individuals.

I regret to say I do not believe that peace is freedom from stress. Hans Selye the father of the psychology of stress identified both distress and eustress (later developed by Richard Lazarus). Selye used the terms to refer to whether one relates to good or bad news, whether the impulse is positive or negative. The distress tends to lead to negative responses, such as paralysis or unhelpful results and eustress is a good stress which may lead to action to good ends. One of my former students is now extremely stressed in returning to her homeland and the pace of life, yet it is still possible for her to experience peace.

Mahatma Gandhi was a peaceful protester, who somehow managed to get rid of colonial rule of India without a bloody revolution. Gandhi insightfully claimed that if an oppressive society lacked violence, it was not peaceful, because of the injustice of the oppression remained. However he also saw peace not as an end or goal but as means: peace by a spinning wheel and not with a rifle. Societies attain justice and care by peace.

Shalom embodies a sense of right functioning, a means rather than goal. In the natural world shalom is not the absence of bacteria and viruses but that the human bodies are able function as they should and diseases do not have an effect. The lion and lamb shall lie down together. Cells in shalom would not go their own way and create cancers. Peace is everything in right relationship, right place, right attitudes and mindset.

Surprise and encouragement

I'm still feeling a little empty at the moment after the stress and sleeplessness of International Christmas. This is probably the most difficult New Year so far. But I'm also encouraged by email from Eleanor my god-daughter in England and an update on her life. Also an email from Elaine my ESL tutoree of last year now back in Taiwan, and a surprise phone call from the HK subway from my adopted god-daughter Janice last night.

The rollercoaster of life remains a reality. A new school semester looms and I don't feel ready or adequate for it. I'm in avoidance for somethings that I don't feel confident in and yet assured and ready to face things in other areas. I think I already have the winter blues or the February blahs early this year. Where is the music this year? What or where is the hope for this year?

Not in the building!

I've come across an interview with Sally Morgenthaler and Alex Roxburgh. I posted earlier about her change of attitude and move away from the concept of worship evangelism. (earlier post)

In the interview she says: "woe is me... if we're not crafting worship for those kind of people [like the characters in American Beauty], for humans ... it is not the cataclysmic thing that happens when we truly meet God."

The interview (here) is posted on the Allelon website which claims to be a movement of missional leaders. This week my friend was sharing his intense discomfort with the current catch word missional. I confess I can be just as allergic to the word when it becomes programed and lacking commitment to God. Commitment to program or even church is not what it is about! Sally Morgenthaler has realized it is commitment to people, to neighborhood, to being human, to being planted. The trouble is church is all about place and experience and consumption, however community is about being not in the building but outside it.

My frustration is much the same as Morgenthaler that too many people are living in a Christian subculture literally based in a building and they have no relevance to the world outside. At the ministerial this week I presented the challenge of being salt and light in the world. On salt there are some important ideas from Mike Bechtle's book Evangelism for the rest of us 1/ Salt comes in little pieces 2/ Salt preserves 3/ Salt causes thirst 4/ Salt brings out flavor 5/ Salt in excess is unhealthy - stops growth in plants. I invited them to reflect over these.

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. Matt 5:13-15

Balancing and letting go

This was one bizarre image I found on a string specialist site from a conference. It has the look and feel of a viking funeral.

I spent 0ver 7 hours yesterday trying to put together a sound track for the International Christmas video. It's tough when the creative juices aren't flowing readily and best clips have extraneous sounds. I've realized how rude some people can be talking while other people are performing and playing their instruments. Sadly the camcorder captures all this extra sound which I had to try and remove or render unintelligible. I tried every trick from noise removal filters, playing two versions at the same time slightly out of phase, to placing sounds over the speaking voices.

I only have 2 weeks to get this video edited in my spare moments and get a whole lot of other things to get completed. There's a lot of balancing to do and I wonder if there are things I have to let go of and move on. Last year I finally realized I wasn't going to build kites again for a longtime and passed my kites onto my godson's family. But there's so much else! As I work with my Auntie Mary preparing her mentally to go home there are many things I have to persuade her that she must begin to clear away to make room for living. This is not just physically but also mentally because we collect stuff unintentionally caught up by our culture. Of course the challenge is for all of us in our cluttered lives which are just over full and over busy.

The Battle within Living

I just want to be living as I'm dying, Just like everybody here, Just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile, And I don't know where I'm driving to, But I know I'm getting old And there's a blessing in every moment every mile Vienna Teng - Homecoming (Walter's Song) youtube

I've been listening to some more Vienna Teng and in juxta position with Salvador Dali's image entitled Warrior mounted on an Elephant Overpowering a Cello. Life pierces me and the living continues to be a struggle but yet there is blessing in the moments. It is this that I bring to others in their struggles. Not cheap words , not quick fixes, no papering over pain. Yet I can still sit in the shadow of it all and I can still find a graced moment. Don't we long for more. This reminds me of a story from the Ecclesiastical History of the English People. The Venerable Bede records an account of an allegory told to a pagan king to explain the transitory nature of life:

The present life of man, O King, seems to be, in comparison with that time which is unknown to us, like the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein You sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, I say, flying in at one door, and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are entirely ignorant. If, therefore, this new doctrine contains something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed.

Life can seem transitory and short lived, but at many moments interminably long. Nights without sleep endless. Nights alone...

Well the night eats up my body heat, And there's no sign of another, And I find myself slipping down into that black, But things are good I've got a lot of followers of my faith, I've got a whole congregation living in my head these days, And I'm preaching from the pulpit, To cries of "Amen brother", Closing my eyes to feel the warmth come back Vienna Teng - Homecoming (Walter's Song) lyrics

From the The Cloud of Unknowing which I read quite a few years ago,

My thoughts cannot comprehend Divinity, and so I prefer to abandon all I can know, choosing rather to love even that which I cannot know.

Let loving desire, gracious and devout, step bravely and joyfully beyond and reach out to pierce the darkness. Yes, beat upon that thick cloud of unknowing with the dart of your loving desire and do not cease come what may."

La ténèbre n'est point ténèbre devant Toi. La nuit comme le jour est lumière. Ps 139

The Atheist Christmas Carol

I've just come across Vienna Teng a beautiful voice. Is this really an atheist Christmas carol? You judge!



It's the season of grace coming out of the void
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance
It's the season of possible miracle cures
Where hope is currency and death is not the last unknown
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home

It's the season of eyes meeting over the noise
And holding fast with sharp realization
It's the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention
You are safe here you know now

Don't forget
Don't forget I love
I love
I love you

It's the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It's the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear
Not alone in the dark