the artist

There's something within my genetic makeup and artistic temperament than means a rollercoaster of emotions. The highs and the lows, good feelings and desperate heart ache as part of my experience within daily life. But I suppose disappointment is a raging problem deep within me. Many little things that happen can grind me down so easily. Today so many half finished conversations when someone asks something and then when I ready to share rushes off to something else, then my special waitress forgot to order my food only after an hour it was remedied and my friends finished long before me. Then I arrange to look at a folding bike for my birthday present to myself except the man decided to sell it this morning and I rode through torrential rain to go and see it this afternoon. Somehow all the good is outweighed by the bad and disappointments.

This seems to be what God gives to enable me to identify with those struggling. One international student frequently tells me nothing ever happens for her, she has no luck! It is in these times I cry for her. Life sucks and we still have to go on. My boss said something that hurt and that sits on top of anything good and encouraging before. Life sucks and I'm still alive. I wouldn't be unless I had a purpose for existing. I would quit now if I had a choice, but I don't. God gives me a reason for now.