The greatest Truth

My argument with so much psychoanalysis is the supreme conception that suffering is a mistake or a sign of weakness or a sign even of illness when in fact possibly the greatest truths we know have come out of people's suffering - That the problem is not to undo suffering or to wipe it off the face of the earth but to make it inform our lives Arthur Miller The Century of the Self Episode 2

Recently I got into challenging situation whether my belief we should never paper over or deny another person's pain is essentially correct. Also I think we should never substitute our situation for another's situation. My whole life is the recognition of my own weaknesses and struggles and periods of darkness that permit empathy and sympathy. Yet I will rarely share those periods with others in their struggles because the focus can become me and not them. I've gotten into trouble when others don't see things this way.

I've been watching The Century of the Self, a series of programs at Google Video which tracks the pervasive influence of Sigmund Freud, his daughter Anna and nephew Edward Bernays on propaganda, Public Relations, politics etc.This amazing quote from Arthur Miller, former husband of Marilyn Munroe, presented as part of the backlash against psychoanalysis as it appears she was receiving help from an analyst when she committed suicide.

The last 30 hours have been as emotionally tiring as the last week has been stressfully tiring. Thanksgiving meal for 60 plus people, then an outing using 8 vehicles for 39 people. Yesterday I met an old friend and his wife on the street and ended up stopping for tea and later an early dinner. An amazing catch up after 2 years or so. We talked a lot about the dark side of life - depression and suicide and also of hope and the presence of God. Then I spent time talking with my Auntie Mary working to ensure she will eat enough each day, then talking with my international who in suffering feels very alone and that suffering is meant to make her strong. But didn't realize that in weakness we are made strong in Christ. There were many tears. Then another long call about life direction and the courage to move forwards. Then later another call from a long lost friend seeking prayer for a troubled spirit wanting to be different in his response to life.

I don't know where Miller's understanding comes from but it is deep. Suffering reveals truth if only we can see it. Pain brings forth and reveals our need of God if we would only accept it. But of course the ultimate suffering is revealed in the Passion of Christ, who as the suffering servant reveals Truth. Not as anything abstract nor as anything conceptual but as something factual and relational.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

More on Zimbabwe

Death is stalking Zimbabwe’s children, as a potentially catastrophic famine gathers momentum. Aid agencies say that half the population, about five million people, face starvation, two-thirds of children are out of school and water shortages have led to deadly cholera outbreaks. Jan Raath Times online

Over the last while I have posted once a month on Zimbabwe, July, August, September and now October. Why can't things get better instead of worse? Even with a supposed power sharing deal brokered by former South African Prime minister, Mbeki, there is no change and my earlier posting (here) doesn't show anything better only now the feared disaster in on the doorstep. The diseases which tell us of hunger, kwashiorkor, marasmus and pellagra, are now easy to see. The Times reports

When Zimbabwe’s Government does spend money on the health sector it does not help the people. Three months ago the Central Bank allocated $5 million (£3 million,) which was used to buy imported cars for the state’s 100 or so specialist doctors.

The number of starving is 5 million, half the population. I can't even get my head around a number like that. Try and imagine 100 of something, your brain can't hold that, but perhaps more than the entire population of your city is starving, not just hungry. How can Mugabe even think about this? We're not just talking about the poor or the peasants anymore. The middle classes are starving and even teachers are joining their pupils in receiving a bowl of basic food porridge. Starvation also heaps coals on the heads of those with HIV/AIDS because the drugs require food and nutrition and a third of the population is infected.

I've been watching the first episode of The Century of the Self which tracks the influence of Freud and his family on Western values and consumerism and propaganda, public relations, and advertising. Freud's basic identification of hidden deep sexual and aggressive forces in the human psyche might be helpful if it hadn't been for his Americanized nephew, Edward Bernays, who promoted fundamentally the sexual material. Humans have deep aggressive tendencies which seems true but surely we should also take seriously the lust for power which even Machiavelli seems not to have fully acknowledged. Politicians seem incapable of truly caring about the people or the citizens rather more about remaining in power or gaining power.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. Proverbs 25:21

Simplicity and Poverty

... bloggers everywhere will publish posts that discuss poverty in some way. By all posting on the same day we aim to change the conversation that day, to raise awareness, start a global discussion and add momentum to an important cause.

I love it when people around become concerned to buck the trends of the world around me. Tuesday Night prayer meeting was a moment of inspiration. Rather than looking to buy a huge house in suburbia with equally huge mortgage and a need to run at least 2 cars because there is no public transit, life can be different with different goals. We can make a difference however small. Today is Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty. I decided to be part of this because I know some people actually follow my blog. (Click here for the main site)

Ever since I heard Richard Foster speak and read his book The Freedom of Simplicity I have been challenged. Recently I have been blogging and reading about de-cluttering and trying to live more simply. I've been reading the "100 thing challenge" (see here) Dave Bruno is attempting something amazing "By November 12, 2008 I will only have 100 personal things. I will live with only 100 personal things for one full year, until November 12, 2009." This doesn't include shared things with his wife or daughter and the household but it is still challenging.

Also I've been reading Clutter 101: the definitive guide to de-cluttering your life (See here) I learned in reading that if we de-clutter properly, we can save a lot of money because we can become more frugal and careful about what stuff we bring into the home. "Why add to all your existing junk by buying more unnecessary stuff?" But saving money means we might have more disposable income but not necessarily to spend on ourselves. It is said that John Wesley despite increases in income spent no more money than when he was poorer, the rest he gave away.

"However, I must provide for my children." Certainly. But how? By making them rich? ... Leave them enough to live on, not in idleness and luxury, but by honest industry. ... What does it signify, whether you leave behind you ten thousand pounds, or ten thousand shoes and boots? O leave nothing behind you! Send all you have before you into a better world! Lend it, lend it all unto the Lord, and it shall be paid you again! John Wesley Bristol, September 21, 1790.

I learned one thing important, it not always about being cheap. With even my finances sometimes it is better to buy one thing which is good and classic so much as to last many many years rather than the passing fad or trend which is obsolete in the moment. Not to buy that particular on credit helps to aid care and consideration because the time delay allows earnest careful determination.

Somehow it is a fallacy that being a consumer gives jobs and money to the poor. It seems to me an excuse to justify a constant urge to consume and shop. In fact market forces in the capitalist system require greed at an essential component and also to buy from the cheapest producer and not necessarily to be just in getting the right price. Capitalist economics has no loyalty to buyers or consumers, rather only to the company and the company owners whether private or share-owners.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3

Yet more on acedia

... the social consequences of acedia's pervasive presence in our consumer-oriented society, where distractions not only divert us from routines like daily psalter readings and housekeeping chores, in which we can find God's presence, but also keep us from recognizing the spiritual impoverishment that results from such habitual scatteredness. Dennis Okholm It's Half-Past Twelve Somewhere

Acedia is not merely slothness, laziness but avoidance seeking distraction. The quotes come from Okholm's review of Kathleen Norris' new book Acedia & Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life, is poignant. and gives a candid outline to the history of the term both across the centuries and her own life.

The danger of a sin like acedia is that it can become "mortal"—that is, it can prevent God's grace from transforming our lives: "When we are convinced that we are beyond the reach of grace, acedia has done its work." That is why Norris correctly places acedia in a category opposed to love, rather than under the heading of mere apathy.

My Anglican tradition has kept in mind both sin as omission and commission, i.e. not doing or doing. Yet these thread raises for me key ideas that to prevent the activity of God in your life is to sin under this definition. Not to allow God to work, whether to decide not to or perhaps not feel the need is a sin a denial of relationship. Thus it is opposed to love not merely the opposite to love. Not even the act of loving another but to the reception of love. Thus acedia denies and reject that God can and does love you and me.

But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death. Psalm 141:8

People who reflect

The more we become people of action and responsibility in our community, the more we must become people of contemplation. If we do not nurture our deep emotional life in prayer hidden in God, if we do not spend time in silence and if we do not know how to take time from the presence of our brothers and sisters, we risk becoming embittered. It is only to the extent that we nurture our own hearts that we can keep interior freedom. People who are hyperactive, fleeing from their deep selves and their wound, become tyrannical and their exercise of responsibility only creates conflict Jean Vanier, Community and Commitment

L'Arche is a inspiration to us and a challenge. Jean Vanier's vision of community is one of value but conscious that busyness is our worst enemy. Friday I has a good long conversation with a Chinese scholar about love and duty and how they are basically two ways of looking at or two sides of the same thing. We had been talking about schoolmates and where they had ended up and about a family who had given up everything to care for a child with a degenerative muscle disorder instead of sending him off to an institution. I pointed out that frequently humans in every society aren't good at looking after their disadvantaged or disabled even in our own country accessibility is built into building codes. However if no-one had taking the time with Stephen Hawking then theoretical science would be a poorer place. I am not making any comments about his faith or lack of it but he is valued despite disability. Perhaps his disability forced deeper and deeper reflection because he cannot really flee from himself nor distract himself.

We also had cause to look at happiness and discuss its relationship to satisfaction. Life can be disappointing and even cruel. Life circumstances can make us perhaps embarrassed but if we are truly happy then you cannot be ashamed, only embarrassed. We need to nurture our own hearts to find this kind of freedom. This week I've meditated and also contemplated the phrase God's eternal love in 1 Kings 10:9 Strangely I have been singing his love endure for ever for years but the phrase has been partially or completely meaningless until recently when I began to embrace the emotional consequences and the life orientation that flows from that. Perhaps because the Queen of Sheba said this to Solomon is why I pause and wonder. Perhaps because God's love is for all of us.

Because of the LORD's eternal love for Israel, he has made you king, to maintain justice and righteousness. 1 Kings 10:9

Sometimes the unpredictable

Are things really predictable? Odd situations can bring the unexpected. The Daily Telegraph records the incidence where a mouse fed to a viper as a meal instead killed the snake. There is a whole run of unusual stories, a heron which ate a rabbit, a leopard attacking a crocodiles, a seal catching and eating a duck, but the mouse is most unexpected. (read them here)

So good friends have been working in a shanty town and are very aware of expectations. They're taking a well earned break. and back into the Western world with its expectations or lack of them. The husband is a doctor and he has seen his share of miraculous healing when only prayer happened in a third world squalid setting but they're home. “As a doctor, I wanted to get right to the front to watch people as they came forward for prayer. ... One of the most common facial expressions is surprise as sceptics realise their pain really has gone away. Others just dance for joy as faith turns into experience.” He is a medical doctor and has examined the results.

I continue to be challenged in having disappointments in some places and encouragement in others and yet discouragement again and then another unexpected result.faith rides the rollercoaster and wonders about expectations.

Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matt 17:20

The Christian will be conscious that a primary allegiance to Jesus shapes us in distinctive ways, and will want to ask what difference a worldview informed by Scripture makes to the teaching and learning of maths, geography, and history as well as the so-called ‘social and emotional aspects of learning’. Christians are citizens of the kingdom of heaven before they are citizens of the United Kingdom, and will recognise that virtues of courage, compassion and honesty look different when they take shape under the lordship of Christ rather than Caesar. Antony Billington Shaping Education

So many key words here bear thinking about, such as 'primary allegiance' or 'recognise virtues look different'. (The picture is of the inside of a cello) My friend Peter wrote this recently :-

I said that our little faith only allows us to live this type of 21st century Western Christian middle-class life of balance. But I lie awake at night wondering what the Church could become if it were willing to let go of its 21st century identity, and if we were willing to let go of our lives and all the things we hang on to.

At our staff meeting this week we in passing we thought about what radical discipleship really is about. One church at least is wondering whether this means less about programming and more the leading of God. I remain unconvinced that that the CEO model is appropriate for Christian organizations as mission statements etc serve as safe boundaries and exclude the prophetic. The real period in Israel's history was not the monarchy but the period of Judges where leaders and prophets came and went as required. It was a period where Israel was different, counter-cultural at least structurally so. Theocracy places power in safer hands and, where the prophetic voice exists and is heeded, also accountability in the right hands.

Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Psalm 146:2-3

More food troubles

Saturday, I was talking with an international looking for work. He was a trained microbiologist and he was despairing about being able to find a job. I was able to assure him that there would be jobs appearing in the food industry. Just follow the news and I notice what a mess there is with food contamination and in particular convenience foods. This week, in the US it was announced that 32 people in 12 different states were sickened with salmonella poisoning after eating precooked, frozen chicken dinners. The problem was failure to note the food was only browned and not cooked throughly and people simply partially microwaved the meals. Then also in Michigan 26 people were identified with E. coli O157:H7, a serious strain with a mortality rate between two and seven per cent. Sadly they shipped the 5lb bags lettuce into Canada and didn't tell Canadian officials about the problem for days.

As food safety continues to be big news, I continue to reflect how much the current issues are connected to convenience and the quick meal. Our lives, in fact seem to run off at a horribly fast speed and I at times I just feel I want to sit down and draw breath. Why do we run ourselves ragged? Life is busy and there are many demands on us. At least I try and eat a freshly cooked meal in a local restaurant sitting at a table and with staff who know me. I try and make it a mealtime rather than a snatched fast food grab.

Today Euge asked the question today who or what is king in our lives? It's not a new question, not at least to me. I've been asking it here in the blog for sometime. But it needs to be asked and constantly asked. When was the last time I was happy to tell others I had sat down for a few hours and spent time with God? Instead I know I have the very real tendency to say that I am so busy for God - I'm just so busy! Maybe I'm busy because I spend too much time on the computer and email and internet. Perhaps I tend to avoid the claims of tidying and ordering my life, seeking to do things for others than for myself. If I want to make sure God is King and be less Martha and more Mary, then what I need to be is less stuck in the doing image and more being with the one who loves me. Ultimately it is not about sacrifice and service but being with the one who loves you.

"Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Luke 10:40-42

A Sense of Justice

Thus, while I accept that granting leave to appeal could appear unfair, it does not amount to a level of unfairness that is contrary to the interests of justice, ... Granting leave to appeal would not violate the conscience of the community. On the contrary, as I have mentioned, the error in the sentences imposed is of a nature such as to require the Attorney General to appeal to ensure that the administration of justice is fairly and properly carried out. The Court of Appeal

I am frequently filled with a sense of injustice listening to court rulings and sentences. In a recent case I found this statement which was very special. In a plea bargain, in exchange for a guilty plea the Toronto Crown Attorney's office agreed not to appeal, however the Attorney General appealed the sentencing. I was amazed to see a sense of justice, as the conscience of the people, removed from contract law. Of course Christians place justice in a different place.

If spirituality is to be authentic it requires a sense of justice and injustice, just as discernment, as an aspect of spirituality looks at good and evil As I sit on my student council at college we have wrestle with justice and social justice issues. After a year we have replaced virtually all the disposable styrofoam cups and plates and plastic utensils with paper or corn based plastics. Not merely a matter of environmentalism but ecojustice and stewardship. I hope this year to raise questions about justice for international students who seem to fund universities with their escalated fees and get limited specialized assistance to enable them to complete their programs. Spirituality is not merely about practices but values and concerns which are divine.

Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees, Who write misfortune, Which they have prescribed To rob the needy of justice, And to take what is right from the poor of My people, That widows may be their prey, And that they may rob the fatherless. What will you do in the day of punishment, And in the desolation which will come from afar? To whom will you flee for help? And where will you leave your glory? Isaiah 10:1-3

How Building Learn

Buildings never stop changing. Some do it well and become loved. Some do it badly and get worse over time. The difference is intelligent design and intelligent use. Stewart Brand How Buildings Learn

I've just finished watching a series of documentaries called How Building Learn. It's beautifully crafted series written and presented by Stewart Brand. It challenges notions and ideas that buildings are timeless permanent edifices. For instead the problems are frequently, the architects who see they are building monoliths which are there to resist change and time. Literally they are building works of art, rather than utilitarian structures which can change and adapt. While good buildings learn and adapt and reflect the lessons of people who live in them, really bad buildings can only be replaced.

As I look around building in this city I can see that many of the new structures are open to Stewart's criticisms. They are so radical and difficult to adapt and in fact the Lee Chin Crystal has to be modified from the start because of over heating problems because of the quantity of glass. I suspect eventually it will be demolished rather than loved. The new parts of the British Museum are adaptable spaces which ultimately you will forget how it was before because it is so supportive of its function as a place for people. I have rethought a few ideas and concepts because of seeing the series which is fully available at Google Video.

Francis Duffy asserts "Images are everything. What actually happens inside buildings, what the building was for, becomes forgotten." Buildings are not about looking nice but about living in them. My spaces in my apartment are about being functional except at the moment I am dysfunctional at home. I returned to journalling yesterday after a 6 month hiatus. During my time of reflection about what has been happening inside me and what changes have come about, I did a drawing on a pile of things on one of my desk areas. As I looked over the drawing I realized it reflected many aspects of my life at the moment. There is still disorder and dysfunction. A continuation of the great cleanup is required and not to lose moments. New insights mean that everything should have its place and in designing and sorting and arranging the need for adaptivity is important but not at the cost of descending into disorder.

Within my spiritual practices I need my journal because while adaptable to my moods and transitions and changes in basic practice, it asserts an order to changes or being flexible. When I look at the early days it was very heady and thoughtful meditation and analysis of material I was reading. Then as drawing became more important it became a place to open my psyche to myself. I don't know what it will become but my journal will not stop changing in content and style and it will prevent a descent into chaos.

Presuppostions and Preunderstandings

Every people group of different cultures brings their preunderstanding to the biblical text they are reading. ... [However unlike preunderstanding,] Presupposition is not something we want to renegotiate as we read the text. It is different from preunderstanding that need to be changed. Joey @ Missions and Theology

I find Joey's reflection helpful as I have been thinking about the dangers of syncretism in spiritual practices. Objectivity is impossible rather everything in done in relationship with God even the thinking, however there seems to me that there are non-negotiables which Joey names as presuppositions. (read more of these in relationship to the biblical text here)

My friend Carlin's call towards transcendence still keeps me thinking. It is possible even within contemporary rock/pop based Christian worship but calls for a careful craft. two Sundays ago I tried to contribute that aspect within the worship set with my cello in a brief 2 bar solo. I think I managed it for a moment to point to the beyond, the wholly other, God. After all isn't our presupposition that the goal of worship is the recognition of God as God? The problem is that our preunderstandings get in the way and drawn into the mechanics of performance and confusing our meeting the divine with emotionalism. Intimacy with God is inevitably within the mysterious vastness of God otherwise we merely domesticate God down to our size.

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness. Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. God is known in her palaces for a refuge. Psalm 48:1-3

We do not possess the future

The novel ought to be a stout defender of the independence of eschatology in its most robust sense – that is, a defender of the apparently obvious but actually quite vulnerable conviction that the present does not possess the future. Rowan Williams Dostoevsky: Language, Faith, and Fiction

I was reading Ben Myers posting of a quotation from Rowan William's new book. For those less familiar he is the current Archbishop of Canterbury. This quotation really caught me and has started a train of thoughts including that often forgotten passage "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." (Phil 2:12-13). Relationships are unpredictable and you cannot possess another person nor a relationship. We do not possess the future, nor eternal life as such. These are graced gifts to us and as yet not fully received.

Søren Aabye Kierkegaard as Johannes de Silentio was author of Fear and Trembling and this book has been on my reading list for quite a few years. Kierkegaard was a Christian existentialist reflecting very much about the emptiness in the life of the church around him and struggled with the tensions between faith and reason. In Fear and Trembling he studied the story of Abraham and presented two figures a "Knight of Faith" and a "knight of infinite resignation". The Knight of Faith relinquished everything i.e. was willing to kill Isaac, but also trusted that he would receive him back. This trust was based on the "strength of the absurd". Absurdity is contrary to reason and all faith is viewed as basically absurd. In contrast the knight of infinite resignation gave up everything in return for the infinite. Within this view he hope he may receive redress after this life, and yet continuously dwells with the pain of his loss/sacrifice.

Perhaps you understand my propensity to the Existentialists. Kierkegaard as Silentio seems to admire Abraham's faith, but he is unable to understand it. I live in and understand the tension between the two knights. The present does not posses the future, rather it is held in trust.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:11-13