quality and not quantity

Excellence in Scripture is much more about the character of Christ and the love of God rather than statistical achievement. In fact, in the Bible, counting resources and measuring achievements are often used to illustrate pride, self-reliance, control and oppression – the darker side of merit-based culture. Paul Valler LICC

In an interview for support in the work I do in ministry I was asked how I would measure success. Foundationally, I said, people are not projects nor trophies, each person has intrinsic worth. It is in the quality of relationships I have, not the number of them. Yet my own organization is partially trapped in this because the only easy way to assess performance is numerically. Advertising uses numbers as facts to convince people that something is worth while and yet this is such an incomplete story. If we remember Abraham's bargaining with God about not destroying a city, or the fact that only one person was healed at the Beautiful Gate by Peter and John. Clearly it is about individual people, their personal importance, and their particular need and the micro scale.

It eventually rolls into numbers but it isn't a primary focus, in fact it is only with hindsight. Quality may roll into quantity, if I ask how many people would cry for you if you died tonight. My colleague Mimi told me about her father's death in Goma a city in the eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo on the border with Rwanda. Given the wars and violence between peoples, it's not the thousands who went to the funeral but that they were from differing religious affiliations and tribal groups which is the true assessment of the quality of the relationships he had. To understand the tensions of real living or to remove the blandness of your faith, we need to hear stories like Mimi's own personal story (here). I think the quality of Mimi's relationships is already reflected in the number who would mourn the loss of it.

Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let those who boast boast about this: that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on the earth, for in these I delight, Jeremiah 9:23-24

why do bad things happen

Why do bad things happen to good people? I don't know but it drives me to struggle sometimes but also calls me to solidarity to stand with them. My good friend from many years ago is back in his home country and he is a good faithful pastor and scholar, father and husband. Yet he lost his godson to Dengue fever only a few weeks ago and now his daughter is struggling with a milder strain. I find a deep ache for them. The problem is the increase of mosquitos in Asia and these ones bite during the day rather than dawn and dusk. Like malaria and West Nile fever, Dengue cannot be vaccinated against and there is no real cure. All three of these are on the increase globally.

I struggle a lot of the time with people's blindness to long term effect and consequence. Whether global warming, pollution in general, food and health issues even bottled water and the world we will leave for the next generation. It used to be that parents worried about the future for their children but now I see less of that worry expressed in lifestyle. Gen Yers and the generation following will have a very different world to contend with. Will they despise their parents and grandparents for the world left them? Most countries recognize that their pensions and support structures will not be able to support the aging population in the next generation and that in fact the health of coming generations are in fact likely to diminish as will life expectancy. The residues of chemicals and trace elements namely pollutants in food, drink, water and air are adding up. The presence of majorly genetically modified food still is an unknown quantity. Short-term economics now determines our world. Expediency and political-economic judgements rule thinking not health and welfare of generations to come.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen to anyone? Why do they happen at all? Is everything meaninglessness? or Is it a matter of vision being able to see and understand consequences? I'm more and more aware or self-conscious of my own garbage and waste. One small bag of organic food waste every week, fewer and fewer plastic bags and basic garbage. Biking 90 percent of the time beginning to use only rechargeable batteries using less and less canned food etc... Will I make a difference? Unlikely given the patterns of people around me but my conscience is eased knowing that one day I will be judged by the owner of all this and be held accountable both for what I did or did not do. I spent yesterday afternoon with my 5 year old godson and I worry for his future. God help us all.

a fever or smokescreen

We've been in the grip of Olympic fever and medal totals and obsession with speed has been a primary focus. Yet promises of freedom of access and change disappeared under a spectacle worthy of the early days of Hollywood. It has been a epic of distraction. Not owning a tv I've ended up isolated from the hype. Instead I've come across small little articles which have have kicked up a little dust. Have you heard about Wu Dianyuan and Wang Xiuying, two little old ladies in their 70s threatened because they applied for permission to protest. You can find their story blossoming into a little dust storm. They weren't really being political they weren't protesting about human rights per se but their grievance was about receiving insufficient compensation when their homes were seized for redevelopment. The Olympics has been responsible for massed forced relocation of people. If that were to happen for London in 2012 the resulting fallout wouldn't just be a government, it would probably bring down the economy as well.

Smokecreens are a real problem in all aspects of life. Sometimes we know it's one but other times it is such a great illusion we believe it is reality. Other times it is a distraction to draw our attention away from the real issues. The trouble is do we really want to see things as they are or are we happy with what is called reality. (reality tv being a great example?) I suspect there's a lot of that in our lives and our faith journeys.

Getting it right - it's the way you do it

It ain't what you do - it's the way that you do it ... And that's what gets results Bananarama (1970's pop group)

As I was reading a blog entry this old pop song by Bananarama got stuck in my head. Tim Keller's message at Gordon-Conwell graduation was being related. Daryl at Dashhouse.com records Keller saying:

You can grow your church, and at the same time be almost spiritually dead inside. You can grow a church but it can be driven by insecurity. You can have abilities and talents, and God can use you, but you can lack grace in the heart. ... In ministry, it's inevitable that we'll have to tell people of the greatness of God when, at times, we don't have a sense of it in our own lives. There are only two ways to respond to this.

One option is to realize that we need a prayer life beyond what we've ever known.

The other option is to throw ourselves into the busyness of ministry looking for results. ... We often try to fill ourselves with ministry success rather than God's grace. ...Gifts can't substitute for fruit.

Salvation by works thinking remains prevalent in all versions of the Christian faith. There is no substitute for a real authentic relationship with God with both its highs and lows. At a recent pastor's meet it was fascinating that in the sharing time many of the over 40s group just wanted more of God, even clichéd in wanting "to fall more in love with God."

As I continue to prepare talks for the church retreat I've been thinking about the parable of the Talents and also Jonah. The story of Jonah is not about the success of Jonah's warning, nor even Jonah being saved from drowning, nor even his obedience. It is about the transformation of the people of Ninevah and Jonah's head and heart. As I listen, think and meditate I am challenged to rethink the importance of spiritual gifts again. Spiritual gifts are given in the service of the church and therefore important in their being exercised but God's grace in transformation is far more important. Ultimately grace is what draws us to himself.

Practically, grace can even compensate for a lack of giftedness. ... For example, you can be godly and a poor speaker, but your godliness will lead you to keep your message short, and if you are truly godly you won't be boring for 15 minutes. You can be a poor counselor but if you are godly you will be a good listener.

Yes serving out of your spiritual gifts is life giving whether individually or communally but more important is the presence of God in our individual and communal lives. Serving or action is secondary to the relationship to God. What has a stronger message in this world, you as a person living out God's grace with those around you or you simply doing the right things?

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecc 3:11

Day 14 and green sweaters

I got the net ready and quickly snatched up the crab. ... I tried getting the crab out of the net. The crab’s strong claws gripped the net fiercely. Its other legs fought frantically, thereby tangling the crab more and more with each movement. ... The crab was so tangled, it began to look like it was wearing a green sweater.

Luckily, one of the grounds keepers walked by and noticed my struggle ... hang the crab, net and all, an inch or two over the water in the canal. I did as he said.

For a minute the crab didn’t move a muscle. Then the crab started to move. One leg free, then the next. Like magic, the crab attracted to his watery home, undid every knot and sling holding him in place. Then “plop” he dropped effortlessly into the water. Brad Isaac persistenceunlimited.com

Today I've had 2 quite deep conversations. The first, a new immigrant, is unable currently to practice his profession here. He kept talking about alternatives similar and total different. There has a lot of talk about salary and employability. He had a goal to pursue his orginal career but he kept losing sight of it in his insecurities. I felt he was stuck in a web or green sweater of his insecurities. Many of the options and short-term goals didn't seem to match or support his long-term goals and just led to more indecision. I asked what his goal was quite a few times. He struggled because he was wrapped up with all these choices.

Later another call and another stuck in her green sweater and needing to find release from her insecurities and also the world's/culture' dominant values of success and planning and knowing where you're going. She finally began to let go because her attraction to her home with God was stronger than hanging on to stress creating values. Not solved rather her eyes fixed on the right goal.

The matter is we ought not to become fixated on our green sweaters but more so on goals though perhaps I might rephrase that in spiritual terms our calling or our deep God-given desires. To carry on the clean up, besides grace,I need both a vision of freedom with God and the will-power to head off in that direction.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2