Life is fragile

Another health scare. Since my dental surgery I've had some jaw pain replacing 15 fillings and having one extraction under sedation is pretty major. I've started grinding my teeth and one lone molar is complaining. Last night was spent in East York General.

Nowadays I'm stressing more and my health plan seems reluctant to pay their part of the dental bill and I had to empty my account to lower the Visa interest payment of the dental surgery. Then my employer forgot to make the monthly pay transfer and I found out after I made the money transfer to pay the Visa bill. I didn't have enough money to pay the rent!

I found myself having to try and solved the problems myself and deal with systems which seem to be conspiring to cause me more stress. So I became stressed more and generated more jaw pain. Well yesterday was bad and in the evening I felt really bad and nearly passed out. I couldn't ever feel my pulse but thank God Iris was with me and she called 911. They came and my blood pressure 79 over 45. The fire fighters had to empty my hallway of bikes and stuff out to the porch in order to carry me out to the ambulance. I was in hospital until 1.30am when they finally released me. Life is extremely fragile. It appears I had a medication conflict probably the muscle relaxant, and pain killers and perhaps dehydration because my apartment was so hot. If I had been alone I'm not sure I'd be here now.

The trouble is my jaw is now so sensitive that I can't chew any food easily. But I'm alive. The clutter in the hall way has been partially dealt with and I will finish the sorting. The deepest concern is when Iris leaves to go home how will I be? Is this all about trusting God and his providence. He brought us together and now it needs miracles for this to continue.But the call for trust and faith is tough for both of us.