The mood of the night

There is something about the night and darkness which gives me a sense of ambivalence. It's comforting because it enfolds me like a warm blanket and yet its the time of darkest and deepest emotions.

Last night I was panicking because of the amount of things I have on the go. It's not the amount of time but the number and what each thing takes out of me. I'm starting an new ESL program but I am co-teaching it so I'm aware that I have to be far more organized. But my Dmin is giving me troubles.

Studying on the internet is not something I enjoy, in fact I have found it extremely draining. But at least now I think I understand why. I though initially it was because I like physical classrooms and people in front of me but at last I realized that I'm an audio learner. As a kid I learned to read words late because they discovered late I couldn't see the blackboard. In a classroom of 40 kids I learned by listening because I couldn't see clearly. Yes I read a lot and quite fast but that learning becomes cemented in place in my ears through discussions. The internet is a place of darkness, a night time.

Night time is a time of emotions and daytime a time for thinking. We need the two in our lives.

When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram Gen 15:18-19

the metanarrative and transcendence

Information, a private code, innervates and saturates the social body. From morning till evening, unceasingly, streets and buildings are haunted by narratives. [The narratives] articulate our existences by teaching us what they should be…. Seized from the moment of awakening by the radio (the voice of the law), the listener walks all day through a forest of narrativities, journalistic, advertising and televised, which, at night, slip a few final messages under the door of sleep. More than the God recounted to us by the theologians of the past, these tales have a function of providence and predestination: they organize our work, our celebrations – even our dreams – in advance. Michel de Certeau

Benjamin Myers at Faith and Theology has drawn my attention to Michel de Certeau the Jesuit writer who seems to be drawing on the ideas of metanarratives from Jean-François Lyotard who wrote:

Simplifying to the extreme, I define postmodern as incredulity toward metanarratives. This incredulity is undoubtedly a product of progress in the sciences: but that progress in turn presupposes it. To the obsolescence of the metanarrative apparatus of legitimation corresponds, most notably, the crisis of metaphysical philosophy and of the university institution which in the past relied on it. The narrative function is losing its functors, its great hero, its great dangers, its great voyages, its great goal. It is being dispersed in clouds of narrative language elements--narrative, but also denotative, prescriptive, descriptive, and so on [...] Where, after the metanarratives, can legitimacy reside?

Lyotard's question is entirely reasonable. The loss of the grand narratives which defined peoples' identities often in a totalizing way has led to fragmentation and a multiplicity of small narratives. This ultimately cultivates an ultra-individualism which really isn't helpful in a world full of people seeking meaning , purpose and direction. This has thrown us into a vast debate about authenticity, truth and perspectivalism. In all of this what we are left with is philosophically a closed universe, a dead universe. But our existence without transcendence ultimately leads to death. Without transcendence we cannot have life. But without relationship we cannot have life, without a naming relationship, without recognition we are lifeless. Recognition permits us to make claims on transcendence, ultimately on God.

The image is of Dumas' man in the iron mask, who is playing while trapped in his prison. As long he has an audience perceived however much recognized the universe, his little world, is open. Bars do not a prison make.

We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 1 John 5;19

All Roads lead to Rome

Drawing and telling stories and perspectives. David Macaulay's interesting lecture is fascinating. In my Critical thinking course I've had to think about how I read and how I present information,and how I deal with points of view, assumptions, and the layers.

Just how do you explain things in your life? How do you explain your life and existence to other? How about in the context of a book? Well your point of view is a major player and each point of view reveals layers. How do you explain what you believe?
See it (here) if the player below doesn't work.

Yet another blog

I've started another blog where I'm starting to think about my musical influences and to place music that is significant or stuff I'm listening to at the moment. (it's here)

As part of my Ignatian reflections, which are part of my spiritual practices, I have been re-examining the past and this second blog is just a good way to do this in respect of music.

perfection and maturity

As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible but more mysterious. Albert Schweitzer

This last week I've been thinking about the sermon on the mount a lot. Partly because of a sermon last week, and Bible study during the week and today's message. As an ethic, Matthew 5 was declared an impossible value system by the great Albert Schweitzer. A philosopher and recognized and published theologian, accomplished organist, and Bach scholar, Schweitzer still seemed to attempt to live the ethic however impossible it was by being a humanitarian doctor in Gabon, in Africa. I was fortunate to read a book about him when I was a teenager about his life in Gabon as doctor, but he gave up many things including being a recorded organist. (listen to him play here) What made him give up the comforts of Europe and acclaim and recognition to go to a tiny little mission hospital. It has taken me a long while to truly understand it. Today a momentary conversation helped me grasp that it isn't a matter of motivation rather something where if you don't do it - you know somethings wrong or missing with your life.

In Matthew 5:48 the Greek, teleios, τελειος, which we translate as perfect has a greater nuance. I have been drawn, since my early days of studying Koine Greek, to the understanding and translation as of being mature or full-grown. This removes the perfectionist problems and presents things with more a holiness as goal. For me, humans are works in progress moving forwards we hope and pray. Life is not about acquiring more knowledge whether facts and information, or even more experiences , but rather to be more astounded by more and more mystery and wonder. If you can accept it, i.e. it is comprehensible then perhaps it doesn't have mystery and wonder that it needs.

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matt 5:48