when are we dead or barely alive

Trapped inside their bodies, apparently switched off to the world, but still alive: they are the undead. Or so we thought. Forty per cent of patients in a ‘vegetative state’ are misdiagnosed. John Cornwell Timesonline

An article at Timesonline points to misdiagnosis of persistent vegetative state, or PVS. The person appears to be not conscious nor aware nor reacting to stimuli. There is no perceivable brain response. John Cornwell records many amazing stories in his article and probably the most shocking and amusing at the same time is this true story. (Read them all here)

“Young man with motorbike head injury in a coma. His mum, a keen evangelical, comes every day with friends to sing Onward, Christian Soldiers by his bedside. She’s hoping to stimulate his brain into action. It works: he comes round, but he can’t speak. So they fit him up with one of those Stephen Hawking-type laptops, and the first words he speaks are: “For God’s sake, Mum, shut it!” recorded from a psychologist at Putney’s Royal Hospital for Neuro-disability

I notice sadly many Christians who seem barely alive in their spiritual lives. Not only do they seem to be going nowhere but they also seem to be either in denial or blissfully unaware that a spiritual life involved all the aspects of human existence and not merely the outward behaviours and vocabulary of religious practice. If there is truly a divine -human relationship then a continuing stream of insights and epiphanies is to be expected as God breaks into mundane human existence to transform it into life in all its fullness.

Kate Bainbridge... suffered severe brain inflammation after contracting a viral infection. When she came out of the coma, she opened her eyes and could breathe naturally, but she was unresponsive to speech and visual stimuli, and appeared to lack all conscious awareness. ... Adrian Owen’s first experiment on Kate involved presenting her with photographs of her mother and father, followed by fuzzy, meaningless pictures, while her brain was being scanned. “We found,” he says, “that areas of Kate’s brain burst into activity when pics of her family were shown that accorded perfectly with the brain locations of healthy volunteers doing the same task.”

Labour Day weekend as I was speaking about being fully alive ... I had written in my notes struggling proves that you are still alive and kicking. Now after reading this I wonder whether we ought to ensure we have the right stimulation as well. Reading and praying, fellowshiping and serving are in a sense stimulation situations, where we might prove ourselves alive. Are you alive and kicking? Really?

Cultureshock and re-entry shock

These straits and island of the blood can be recognised as those very shores and lands we encounter in our earthly migrations. Places become buttons of feeling and colour. ... I know, for example, the coagulation of Victoria on Hong Kong Island and Victoria on Vancouver Island have become in my inheritance, planetary junctures of emotion. Both British Victorias, these new-world cities must have seemed to my ancestors two ends of the same rope. Fred Wah Diamond Grill

Fred Wah is mixed-blood Canadian poet who alludes to a lot of my Old and New World identity issues which are allied to cultureshock. Perhaps you can understand more the whole concept of this blog draws on this quotation. Only recently I've been asked about my understanding culture shock because I led a seminar on culture shock and reverse culture shock at International Christmas.

In that I was forced to revisit some of my original research for my thesis and re-examine how and what I was presenting. Strangely I realized I had hybridized 2 models which were remarkably similar and based everything on the Kubler-Ross model of 5 stages of grief. The stages are: Denial: The initial stage: This cannot be happening to me. Being Angry: "Why me? It's not fair." Bargaining: "If only this could happen then...." Depression: "I'm so unhappy, why bother going on?" Acceptance: "I can accept it even if I don't like it."

Peter Adler was my main theorist who had a similar five stage model to Kubler-Ross firstly, there is a tourist like interest, differences are intriguing. Perceptions are screened and selected. Then, disintegration where the individual becomes overwhelmed by the new culture's requirements or the state of affairs. Then, reintegration they can function, but tend to be angry or resentful towards the new culture. following on a stage of autonomy, where the individual is more confident of their ability to survive this all. Then finally independence where the person achieves biculturality. The problem I had with Adler prescribed the course or path yet Kubler-Ross only attempted to describe stages and not a procession of steps. Also Kubler-Ross also suggests it is never fully sorted out, while Adler sees it all as a finished product. But humans are far more complex than that. Culture shock loiters in the corners of our psyche and the stages do return but our ability to cope and ride the rollercoaster has increased. There is a similarity to conversion and spiritual transformation, learning to live in a different place with different values and beliefs.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off ... Eph 4:22-25

Lullabye For A Stormy Night

well now I am grown, and these years have shown that rain's a part of how life goes, but it's dark and it's late so I'll hold you and wait 'til your frightened eyes do close, and I hope that you'll know... that nature is so the same rain, that draws you near me falls on rivers and land, on forests and sand, makes the beautiful world that you'll see in the morning ... everything's fine in the morning the rain'll be gone in the morning but I'll still be here in the morning - Vienna Teng Lullabye For A Stormy Night

(My ears are still full of Vienna Teng a good voice and very thoughtful lyrics hear this song here NB Vienna Teng wrote this song when she was 17! - If you're interested you can find downloadable live recordings at the internet archive here)

Years ago, I was extremely interested in a young woman but we were on different continents. We were far apart. At this time I came across this picture in a book published in 1919 together with the translation of a Chinese poem from the 6th century: The Ferry written by the Emperor. Both touched me deeply

Of marsh-mallows my boat is made,
The ropes are lily-roots.
The pole-star is athwart the sky:
The moon sinks low.
It's at the ferry I'm plucking lilies,
But it might be the yellow River-
So afraid you seem of the wind and the waves,
So long you tarry at the crossing

I don't think she ever understood the poem and picture when I shared it. Somehow the possibility failed, making the physical crossing happened but there was no willingness to cross over other divides. But looking back I would not be where I am now, doing what I do now, unless that failure happened. But I'll still look back when I hear songs like this.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer 29:11

The Atheist Christmas Carol

I've just come across Vienna Teng a beautiful voice. Is this really an atheist Christmas carol? You judge!



It's the season of grace coming out of the void
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance
It's the season of possible miracle cures
Where hope is currency and death is not the last unknown
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home

It's the season of eyes meeting over the noise
And holding fast with sharp realization
It's the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention
You are safe here you know now

Don't forget
Don't forget I love
I love
I love you

It's the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It's the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear
Not alone in the dark

what I've been listening to

A lot of people interpret what they think God says. But the only time God actually speaks for himself is in the books of the prophets. That's what kind of interests me. I'm interested in the idea of separating God from religion. Sinéad O Connor

I've been listening to Sinéad O Connor's Theology. yes, both her CD and her thoughts. It's an unlikely name for a rock/folk double CD which resist categories by issuing 2 CDs with identical track listings but presenting very opposite styles for the same songs. The skin-head Irish rocker who is infamously remembered for tearing up a photo of Pope John Paul II on TV is in interesting territory. The songs are one woman's search for the meaning in life and strangely she is looking at the God of Israel. You might not like her theology, her politics, her lifestyle nor her cropped hair — but you cannot deny that it is a good place to start by searching for the heart of God by searching the pages of the Old Testament. I find 33 based on Psalm 33 offers interesting insights in a darker rock version form the London sessions and a warmer folk version from the Dublin sessions.

Sing oh you righteous to the lord
It's right that the upright should acclaim him
Sing to Jah with your guitar
Turn up yer bass amp
Whack it up all the way to 'save him'

By the word of Jah heaven was made
By the breath of his mouth all its hosts
He gathers up the oceans like a mound
And stores the deep
Stores the deep in vaults

Sing him a new song
Sing sweet with shouts of joy
For the word of Jah is right
And he sees what is right
And he loves what is right
And the earth is full of his care

Jah spoke and it was
He commanded and it endured
He frustrates the plans of nations
And brings to nothing
The designs of people

This CD set is not sweet syrup nor pure rebelliousness. But interestingly it is honest and frankly something filled with risk and therefore worth listening to. (Check out her myspace page)

Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone. Ps 33:22

A Reworking of Psalm 84

Somehow working poetically forces me to embrace and think more deeply about a psalm. This is my reworking of Psalm 84 from earlier this year.

Psalm 84 - adllto
O how desperately lovely is your presence O God
My heart, my soul, my earthbound being
yearns and faints with longing
for your life-giving presence and sovereignty
Even the little bird has her place and the traveling one a nest
near your altar
O Lord of Hosts, my king, my God
At home are those who live in your presence
responding in everlasting praise
Happy are those who find strength in you
whose heart is on the pilgrim’s way
passing through the vale of weeping
seeing it as a place of springs
As if early rains had brought pools of blessing
From strength to strength,
Life-giving moment to life-giving moment
to stand in glorious presence
Alone, a longing in my prayer
Hear me, O Lord, God of hosts
Give me your attention
Look at our shield, Look on with favour on your chosen
Better one day with you than a thousand somewhere
I would rather stand out in the open, close
than live in the shelter of the wicked
For God is warmth and protection
For God is grace and glory
Never holding back goodness from those walking uprightly
O Lord of Hosts - Happy is the longing one – trusting in you

The Dark Night of the Senses/Soul

In May 2003, I had an experience that I can only name as a period of the Dark Night of the Senses in the language of John of the Cross. I would not like to claim I am anywhere near the Dark Night of the Soul which is the last transition in spiritual maturity rather an earlier step. Unfortunately much is written that confuses depression and dark night - one is normatively emotional/psychological and pathological. The other is spiritual/faith and a given IF the faith journey is pursued. I claim no great things rather - the wretchedness of all stripped away and only God is left.

+++++++++++++

Dark Night - adllto

'When the music fades, all is stripped away' Matt Redman

I have been to the edge of the precipice
And gazed in the abyss of darkness
I have staggered, lurched, and lingered there
Peering ready to fling myself into
The embrace of nothingness
To escape the tangible grasp of no-where, no-thing, no-one
Which is loneliness.

I say 'Yay' to solitude - But this clinging no-ness!
Temptation summons a madness -
tainting sorrow: The Cloud of Unknowing's blindness

Yet freedom and escape would be too easy,
And grotes-que.
Cheap abandon: the devil's own madness.

After forsakeness -

'Not my will but Thine'

A vision, a story, a lightness

Israel, the god-wrestler, limping home
In the brightness of the new dawn
Not by wrestling but by hanging on, is bless.

my reworking of psalm 111

"Getting in real close with a psalm"

Psalm 111

Hallelujah

A heart, my heart in all its entirety gives thanks,
Both with the close company and far reaching family of the righteous.

Cosmic are the handiworks of the Lord,
Delighting those who would know them,
Even his magnanimous acts reveal his splendour and glory,
For his righteousness endures forever.

Graphically given for us to recall are his acts,
He, our Lord is full of grace and favour,
In the journey he provisions those who fear him.

Judicial thoughts constantly bring his covenant to mind,
Knowledge of his powerful works come from him,
Lands of promise, taken and given.

Making by hand true faithfulness and justice,
Nurturing, all his precepts are trustworthy,
On sure ground for all eternity.

Placed in the soil of true fidelity and uprightness,
Quintessential, he provided redemption for his own,
Released and raising his covenant for ever,
Showing how awesome and holy is his name.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Understanding comes to those who keep this.
Very praise of him is forever

reworker adllto