Absence that creates Presence

It is good to visit people who are sick, dying, shut in, handicapped, or lonely. But it is also important not to feel guilty when our visits have to be short or can only happen occasionally. Often we are so apologetic about our limitations that our apologies prevent us from really being with the other when we are there. A short time fully present to a sick person is much better than a long time with many explanations of why we are too busy to come more often. If we are able to be fully present to our friends when we are with them, our absence too will bear many fruits. Our friends will say: "He visited me" or "She visited me," and discover in our absence the lasting grace of our presence. Henri Nouwen Bread for the Journey

I frequently have to give people over to the care of God. This is to trust in his great mercy and grace because I recognize my own powerlessness in situations. Frequently it is merely to listen to attend to them. Nouwen's reflection is deep and I associate it much with Jacques Derrida's metaphysics of presence. It is in critical analysis the absence thing is more present because of its significant absence. Unlike Derrida's view which is partially a critical and non-affirming strategy, Nouwen turns this into loving absence however this can only ever be the case because of the spirit's work.