Nothing spectacularly different

The missional life is not a life removed from the ordinary. The missional life is nothing special, it’s just embodying and giving expression to “gospel”, gospel centered on Jesus’ life lived in all the everyday contexts and circumstances we find yourselves in, and “yes” most especially in the mess and inadequacy of our own lives being lived in those places – the places of doubt, brokenness, failure, sickness, vulnerability, and powerlessness – in other words, in our simply being human! In our simply being alive and being about life as living persons, not as the “living dead”. This is the spiritual life. This is the missional way. This is the Jesus-way. Paul Fromont

As I catch up with some of my Google reader accounts I was caught by the obviousness of it all. I of course agree whole heartedly and yet at times I don't really live that way sufficiently. I try so hard to do the best possible and desire after the best. it's Ok when I'm working by myself but sometimes when I have to work with others that have radically different working patterns it can bring trouble bubbling up. I plan ahead and work hard at preparing comprehensively. Of course there is nothing wrong with rigor especially in things academic, but many people are procrastinators. Or at least my world seems to be full of procrastinators. The distance between being adequately prepared and last minute is vast for me and narrow for many.

This is one of my crosses to bear. I love to play music and when rehearsals are short and there is no time for fun, I struggle. For me something that doesn't carry intention whether spirit led or person led - ultimately it is ugly and not uplifting. This too is a cross to bear because I want to meet God and have fun, to enjoy being in the presence of God.

I worry. When events are planned I want to work on them for hours and months in advance. Others don't want to start thinking until much closer in time. I'm less scared of failure than in the past as grace has abounded and I realize the gifting that has been lavished on me. Also I recognize some of the best talks or messages I have given have been on the backs of envelopes or improvised! But many hours of listening, thinking, and especially just wondering contributed to those moments. This week I set aside something I have been planning actively for 2 months because it was stressing because others were not ready to move on the matter. I'm willing to live with the potential for failure or incompleteness in order to release the control and and worry. It is no longer mine. I will wait for the others to initiate praying that God will shape and guide them. I have decided tolive in the places of doubt, brokenness, failure, sickness, vulnerability, and powerlessness.