A gift as representative

Thus, the challenge of Marcel's philosophy -- the challenge of living by a set of values at odds with the world of the problematical -- will be difficult. It involves the commitment of one's entire life and of one's being, and might bring pain and rejection... For those of us who are heirs to the legacy of the atomic age and of mass death -- the twin scourges of the century -- the call to repent, to change how we think and act, has never been louder. John Barich Reflection on Marcel's 'On the Ontological Mystery'

Sunday morning I was asked for the titles of some books suitable to give to people in certain circumstances. I was immediately troubled because sometimes the book is a substitute for being with a person in their current situation and therefore can be a cheap way out. Sometimes it is the setting aside of personal responsibility to share who God really is to me. But most of all any book I give as a gift is my representative. I should have read it and consider it personally suitable.

Gabriel Marcel has been instrumental in my thinking and he introduced the idea that the greatest gift you can give to another is to be truly present to that person. To be present is not merely being there to listen but to be available to that person. Marcel stressed that this gift cannot be possessed or acquired . Even to give it requires personal awareness through the process of recollection and by establishing authentic relationships with other people.

Over the years a few people have given superficial gifts of books, some of which turned out very significant and others which caused pain. Giving books that offer solutions to problems that the other doesn't think they have is most unhelpful and certainly no substitute for giving your time to be with them. Our world is full of the quick cheap fix and lacking in those willing to go the second mile.

If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Matthew 5:41-42