Peace - the right word

I have some linguistic issues around this time of year and they are around the word peace. Peace on earth and goodwill towards all people.

What does Peace really mean? The Hebrew word Shalom (שָׁלוֹם) means peace, hello, goodbye and also to a state of wellbeing. In English, peace is a lack of strife between two parties particularly between humans and also with God. It is much less used to refer to the well-being, welfare or safety of an individual or a group of individuals.

I regret to say I do not believe that peace is freedom from stress. Hans Selye the father of the psychology of stress identified both distress and eustress (later developed by Richard Lazarus). Selye used the terms to refer to whether one relates to good or bad news, whether the impulse is positive or negative. The distress tends to lead to negative responses, such as paralysis or unhelpful results and eustress is a good stress which may lead to action to good ends. One of my former students is now extremely stressed in returning to her homeland and the pace of life, yet it is still possible for her to experience peace.

Mahatma Gandhi was a peaceful protester, who somehow managed to get rid of colonial rule of India without a bloody revolution. Gandhi insightfully claimed that if an oppressive society lacked violence, it was not peaceful, because of the injustice of the oppression remained. However he also saw peace not as an end or goal but as means: peace by a spinning wheel and not with a rifle. Societies attain justice and care by peace.

Shalom embodies a sense of right functioning, a means rather than goal. In the natural world shalom is not the absence of bacteria and viruses but that the human bodies are able function as they should and diseases do not have an effect. The lion and lamb shall lie down together. Cells in shalom would not go their own way and create cancers. Peace is everything in right relationship, right place, right attitudes and mindset.

Surprise and encouragement

I'm still feeling a little empty at the moment after the stress and sleeplessness of International Christmas. This is probably the most difficult New Year so far. But I'm also encouraged by email from Eleanor my god-daughter in England and an update on her life. Also an email from Elaine my ESL tutoree of last year now back in Taiwan, and a surprise phone call from the HK subway from my adopted god-daughter Janice last night.

The rollercoaster of life remains a reality. A new school semester looms and I don't feel ready or adequate for it. I'm in avoidance for somethings that I don't feel confident in and yet assured and ready to face things in other areas. I think I already have the winter blues or the February blahs early this year. Where is the music this year? What or where is the hope for this year?

Not in the building!

I've come across an interview with Sally Morgenthaler and Alex Roxburgh. I posted earlier about her change of attitude and move away from the concept of worship evangelism. (earlier post)

In the interview she says: "woe is me... if we're not crafting worship for those kind of people [like the characters in American Beauty], for humans ... it is not the cataclysmic thing that happens when we truly meet God."

The interview (here) is posted on the Allelon website which claims to be a movement of missional leaders. This week my friend was sharing his intense discomfort with the current catch word missional. I confess I can be just as allergic to the word when it becomes programed and lacking commitment to God. Commitment to program or even church is not what it is about! Sally Morgenthaler has realized it is commitment to people, to neighborhood, to being human, to being planted. The trouble is church is all about place and experience and consumption, however community is about being not in the building but outside it.

My frustration is much the same as Morgenthaler that too many people are living in a Christian subculture literally based in a building and they have no relevance to the world outside. At the ministerial this week I presented the challenge of being salt and light in the world. On salt there are some important ideas from Mike Bechtle's book Evangelism for the rest of us 1/ Salt comes in little pieces 2/ Salt preserves 3/ Salt causes thirst 4/ Salt brings out flavor 5/ Salt in excess is unhealthy - stops growth in plants. I invited them to reflect over these.

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. Matt 5:13-15

Balancing and letting go

This was one bizarre image I found on a string specialist site from a conference. It has the look and feel of a viking funeral.

I spent 0ver 7 hours yesterday trying to put together a sound track for the International Christmas video. It's tough when the creative juices aren't flowing readily and best clips have extraneous sounds. I've realized how rude some people can be talking while other people are performing and playing their instruments. Sadly the camcorder captures all this extra sound which I had to try and remove or render unintelligible. I tried every trick from noise removal filters, playing two versions at the same time slightly out of phase, to placing sounds over the speaking voices.

I only have 2 weeks to get this video edited in my spare moments and get a whole lot of other things to get completed. There's a lot of balancing to do and I wonder if there are things I have to let go of and move on. Last year I finally realized I wasn't going to build kites again for a longtime and passed my kites onto my godson's family. But there's so much else! As I work with my Auntie Mary preparing her mentally to go home there are many things I have to persuade her that she must begin to clear away to make room for living. This is not just physically but also mentally because we collect stuff unintentionally caught up by our culture. Of course the challenge is for all of us in our cluttered lives which are just over full and over busy.

The Battle within Living

I just want to be living as I'm dying, Just like everybody here, Just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile, And I don't know where I'm driving to, But I know I'm getting old And there's a blessing in every moment every mile Vienna Teng - Homecoming (Walter's Song) youtube

I've been listening to some more Vienna Teng and in juxta position with Salvador Dali's image entitled Warrior mounted on an Elephant Overpowering a Cello. Life pierces me and the living continues to be a struggle but yet there is blessing in the moments. It is this that I bring to others in their struggles. Not cheap words , not quick fixes, no papering over pain. Yet I can still sit in the shadow of it all and I can still find a graced moment. Don't we long for more. This reminds me of a story from the Ecclesiastical History of the English People. The Venerable Bede records an account of an allegory told to a pagan king to explain the transitory nature of life:

The present life of man, O King, seems to be, in comparison with that time which is unknown to us, like the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein You sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, I say, flying in at one door, and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are entirely ignorant. If, therefore, this new doctrine contains something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed.

Life can seem transitory and short lived, but at many moments interminably long. Nights without sleep endless. Nights alone...

Well the night eats up my body heat, And there's no sign of another, And I find myself slipping down into that black, But things are good I've got a lot of followers of my faith, I've got a whole congregation living in my head these days, And I'm preaching from the pulpit, To cries of "Amen brother", Closing my eyes to feel the warmth come back Vienna Teng - Homecoming (Walter's Song) lyrics

From the The Cloud of Unknowing which I read quite a few years ago,

My thoughts cannot comprehend Divinity, and so I prefer to abandon all I can know, choosing rather to love even that which I cannot know.

Let loving desire, gracious and devout, step bravely and joyfully beyond and reach out to pierce the darkness. Yes, beat upon that thick cloud of unknowing with the dart of your loving desire and do not cease come what may."

La ténèbre n'est point ténèbre devant Toi. La nuit comme le jour est lumière. Ps 139

The Atheist Christmas Carol

I've just come across Vienna Teng a beautiful voice. Is this really an atheist Christmas carol? You judge!



It's the season of grace coming out of the void
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance
It's the season of possible miracle cures
Where hope is currency and death is not the last unknown
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home

It's the season of eyes meeting over the noise
And holding fast with sharp realization
It's the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention
You are safe here you know now

Don't forget
Don't forget I love
I love
I love you

It's the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It's the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear
Not alone in the dark

A New Year

Its 2008 and the calendar has rolled over.

I've been watching an anime series called Mushshi 蟲師. The story features primordial creatures called Mushi that interact with the physical world but with supra-natural powers or influence. They are described as creatures so basic as to be in touch with the essence of life. Most human beings are unable to see the Mushi and dont' know they exist. But there are a few who possess the ability to see and interact with theme. One person is Ginko (ギンコ?), the main character of the series. He employs himself as a Mushi master (蟲師 mushi-shi), travelling from place to place to study them and help people with problems because of them. Ginko is distinct because he has only one eye working and it is green and his hair is absoutely white because of his encounters with the Mushi. (more info here)

I am interested by this series because there is a dimension of life that extends beyond what we can see. There is also very much a message of living in the moment and responding with wisdom in a situation. There are ethical situations and dilemmas exposed. Like Kino's Journey, it is very episodic and is very much a thinking person's anime. It is very embedded in the travel motif and the art work is very mysterious or mystical. The Mushi always affect intially one person and impinge on their reality BUT this spreads ultimately through the community.

At the moment I've been doing a lot of thinking about the source of life, given that I've found the need for solitude recently and I've been reading about evangelism from the introvert's perspective, I'm coming round to wonder how important or core the social aspect of life is to spiritual growth. It seems everything resolved down to the intrinsic I-Eternal Thou relationship that Martin Buber proposes. Or as CS Lewis put is " I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

Is this merely an issue of introverts vs extroverts? Or is it fundamentally that the personal-divine relationship should define all other relationships? I am beginning to believe that while being an extrovert or introvert can make a difference, fundamentally we start with the interior life and our individual relationship with God. As I've already posted about this Music is an art and spirituality is also an art rather than an science. There are some technical skills to be learnt but it is more about commitment to the relationship.

Cold Fairyland

This is part of Cold Fairyland in Shanghai. (Myspace here)

I have a great interest in fusion music especially where it seeks for a true integration of style. I'm not a fan of the "12 girl band " perhaps because I don't see a real authenticity or true integrity of the music styles or traditions.

However Cold Fairyland who have captured my ears, bring lyrical beauty and authenticity for their music. Of course I'm biased cos I like cello integration and alternative. Their last cd Seeds on the Ground is very reflective. Listen to Dead Children in Newspaper at their myspace website I think you'll find something odd and strangely attractive.

How I wish this were the true nature of worship music for the church, something mysterious and serious, something closer to reality, an awesome God in the truest sense of the word.

The Temptation of St Anthony

I have discovered that Dali's painting and others were painted as part of a competition!

Max Ernst was in fact the $3,000 prizewinner in this "Temptation of St. Anthony" contest. The sponsors of the contest appear to have been a movie company and they persuaded 12 artists to paint what they thought St. Anthony saw. This winning picture was used in a movie, Bel Ami or The History of a Scoundrel and strangely had nothing to do with St. Anthony. Runners-up included Belgian Paul Delvaux; Ivan Le Lorraine Albright; and of course Salvador Dali.

There is a long history of paintings on this subject and the monsterbrains blog has excellent information and links. (here) I've always had an interest in St Anthony/Antony not just because he is my namesake but I suspect because of his asceticism. As an introvert, solitude is something I desire and yet it is the deepest battle requiring great exertion of will. They say the closer you get to God the more you are target for the Devil and temptations. Wikipedia has a nice summary of Athanasius' biography. (here)

catastrophes

It is true that Nietzsche, instead of driving me further into atheism, initiated me into the questions and doubts of premystical inspiration, which was to reach its glorious culmination in 1951 when I drew up my [Mystical] Manifesto . . . Nietzsche awoke in me the idea of God. Dali 1952

Dali as a surrealist developed his strange method of image portrayal by searching for images from beyond conscious human intellect: paranioac-criticism. This paranoid-critical method of painting was a deliberate detailed reproduction of subconscious images from dreams or spontaneous or self-induced delirium. I am strangely attracted to Dali's work ever since I saw some of his crucifx images and since visiting the Dali Universe exhibition in London. This picture is from a series entitled Catastrophes. For me these are a collision of ideas and Tolkien is very helpful.

... I coined the word 'eucatastrophe': the sudden happy turn in a story which pierces you with a joy that brings tears (which I argued it is the highest function of fairy-stories to produce). And I was there led to the view that it produces its peculiar effect because it is a sudden glimpse of Truth, your whole nature chained in material cause and effect, the chain of death, feels a sudden relief as if a major limb out of joint had suddenly snapped back. It perceives – if the story has literary 'truth' on the second plane (....) – that this is indeed how things really do work in the Great World for which our nature is made. And I concluded by saying that the Resurrection was the greatest 'eucatastrophe' possible in the greatest Fairy Story – and produces that essential emotion: Christian joy which produces tears because it is qualitatively so like sorrow, because it comes from those places where Joy and Sorrow are at one, reconciled, as selfishness and altruism are lost in Love.- The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, # 89 (7-8 November 1944).

The unnamed image is from Dali's series called Catastrophes. There is a certain sharpness and severity which is contained within a sense of being bracketed or put in parenthesis. When things go wrong for us and life is difficult perhaps to the point of almost unbearable what are we to do? Perhaps the secret is the act of putting things in parenthesis that catastrophe can become eucatastrophe. I can't date this image but at some point in time Dali's worldview changed and he found belief, faith, God (read more here). That doesn't mean Dali became a conformist or anything like that, but he was still pulling apart the world around him but with a greater sense of meaning. In his 1942 autobiography he is reported to have written :-

And what is heaven? Where is to be found? Heaven is to be found, neither above nor below, neither to the right nor to the left, heaven is to be found exactly in the centre of the bosom of the man who has faith! At this moment I do not yet have faith, and I fear I shall die without heaven.

By 1951 and the Mystical Manifesto Dali moved from artist depicting the existential angst of the absence of God to painter of signposts grabbing at the edges of perception and sensibility, the place where catastrophe and eucatastrophe meet: The place of Faith, Hope and Love

Sleeping alone

This last month I have been sharing bedrooms because of 1/people staying over at my place, 2/ national staff conference sharing a hotel room, and 3/ International Christmas sharing with four students in a bunk room.

It was this last Saturday night, actually 3 am Sunday morning I asked myself why I do this every year. I couldn't sleep because of snoring and other's noises. At 4 am I was wondering how I could get married so I only had to share with one other person whom I have got used to sleeping beside. I now have a huge envy for those who are married, they only have to share with one other.

I'm an introvert and being around others seems to cost me something, even when they're asleep. Being an organizer as well only accentuates the problem so little sounds become points of worry and due consideration whether action is needed or not. I'm introvert living in an extroverted or extrovert-normalized world, perhaps a quarter of the population. A book I'm reading to write a review, notes that introverts are among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups... and they are not just misunderstood by extroverts but also by themselves because they've accepted the outgoing lens of society as the correct one.

Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the hill, but a change would be good?

Salvador Dali

Salvador Dali's The Temptation of St Anthony

Years ago I read The Life of Antony by Athanasius. A fascinating story of his struggles with himself and his desire to follow and be faithful to God. Antony/Anthony was the founder of Christian monasticism and asceticism

Dali reused a number of key themes from the history of art. The Temptation of St. Anthony is one used by some of the more fantasy-oriented Renaissance artists (e.g. Matthais Grunewald). In this version, the saint is walking through the desert when he is confronted with a number of temptations. The first a monstrous horse often a symbol of power or strength and them a number of elephants on stilt-like legs. There carry different temptations, including the golden cup of lust and perhaps symbols of greed. There are many Freudian interpretators out there but I find Athansius' biography more helpful. He was being tempted by "memories of his possessions, the guardianship of his sister, the bonds of kinship, love of money and of glory, the manifold pleasure of food, the relaxations of life , and finally, the rigor of virtue and how great the labor is that earns it...".

After two long conferences this month where my sleep patterns have been severely disrupted, I've just returned and slept 3.30pm Wednesday to 10.30 am Thursday. And last night I slept a further 10 hours. We all have our temptations to deal with and their desire to turn us from the path of virtue. They may not be the same but they come at us steadily and we struggle with each of them in turn.